I& #39;ve been working from home for 5 years. I run my own business, am my own boss, and set my own hours.
I STILL feel guilty (& lazy) when I& #39;m not at my desk at 9am sharp. When I finish before 5pm. When I take a long lunch (or a vacation day). When I don& #39;t check in on the weekends.
I STILL feel guilty (& lazy) when I& #39;m not at my desk at 9am sharp. When I finish before 5pm. When I take a long lunch (or a vacation day). When I don& #39;t check in on the weekends.
I& #39;m sitting here writing this at 9:07am on a Monday morning already feeling the "not cut out for it" dread settle over me.
This gut reaction has been trained into us. It& #39;s taught us that busy and productive are the same thing, that stillness is stagnancy.
This gut reaction has been trained into us. It& #39;s taught us that busy and productive are the same thing, that stillness is stagnancy.
Hustle culture is so damn toxic, it makes you believe that if you& #39;re not busting your ass every second of every day you& #39;re not worthy of success.
This is true whether you& #39;re an employee or a gig worker or a biz owner.
This is true whether you& #39;re an employee or a gig worker or a biz owner.
That& #39;s because it& #39;s baked into the American concept of success and self-worth.
It doesn& #39;t matter that I& #39;m my own boss. I still grew up steeped in a culture of "If you work hard you& #39;ll be successful."
It doesn& #39;t matter that I& #39;m my own boss. I still grew up steeped in a culture of "If you work hard you& #39;ll be successful."
That bullshit mantra fails to recognize the nuance of lived experience. And yet it echoes in our bones. It whispers to us that we aren& #39;t good enough, will never be good enough. That if we don& #39;t experience success it& #39;s because we don& #39;t deserve success.
Don& #39;t get me wrong. I love my job. I love being my own boss and building a business that helps others.
But I hate the guilt and anxiety. I hate that it followed me out of my work as a teacher (where we were punished for taking sick days) and into my work as an entrepreneur.
But I hate the guilt and anxiety. I hate that it followed me out of my work as a teacher (where we were punished for taking sick days) and into my work as an entrepreneur.
And here& #39;s the thing... I am SUPER privileged. I& #39;m white, I& #39;m cis, I have a Master& #39;s degree, I grew up firmly in the middle class. My queerness is something I can easily hide if I wanted to (I don& #39;t).
And I still feel this! If someone like me, who was given a pretty stacked deck, feels like I& #39;m consistently falling short, even when I work my ASS off, how much worse is it for people who have the deck stacked AGAINST them?