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2020 sucks, my mental health has been less than ideal. The things I& #39;ve been trying to accomplish have been 50/50. I& #39;m trying to find things to look forward to, but I& #39;m struggling. It seems the things I& #39;m good at, aren& #39;t productive & the things I have to do take forever. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😣" title="Standhaftes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Standhaftes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Mattes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Mattes Gesicht">
Add in a pandemic, my plans for "getting a life" are on hold. I was anxious before covid19, but the prospect of having "nothing to do" was comforting. Life hasn& #39;t gone anywhere though & I& #39;m still expected to actively participate, no matter the difficulties. This is great! https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Gesicht mit rollenden Augen" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit rollenden Augen">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😒" title="Unerfreutes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Unerfreutes Gesicht">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😫" title="Müdes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Müdes Gesicht">
On top of all that, add the constant racial injustice that I cannot ignore, the political shitshow that is depressing beyond belief & I begin to wonder. Does being a good person matter anymore? Being a good person doesn& #39;t pay the bills, doesn& #39;t change the system, doesn& #39;t do much.
I know I& #39;m not the only one who feels this way, but that doesn& #39;t make me feel any better. I& #39;m disgusted & outraged but I can& #39;t turn a blind eye to the suffering. Self care is paramount, but it& #39;s also work @ times. Everything& #39;s work, but it& #39;s supposed to be worth it. Is it though?
