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So I saw a comment directed at me that I "stole my ex& #39;s sanity after I broke his heart". Let me tell you a quick little story of just one of the many constant lies I told myself to mentally handle that relationship...
Let& #39;s start with this picture (He is not my ex, this is the handsome, charismatic king @TheComboFiend 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Folded hands" aria-label="Emoji: Folded hands">)
I used to love wearing this dress. It was a go-to for me. One night I went to put it on for a night out and my ex stopped me to say "are you sure you wanna wear that?"
I used to love wearing this dress. It was a go-to for me. One night I went to put it on for a night out and my ex stopped me to say "are you sure you wanna wear that?"
)I used to love wearing this dress. It was a go-to for me. One night I went to put it on for a night out and my ex stopped me to say "are you sure you wanna wear that?"" title="Let& #39;s start with this picture (He is not my ex, this is the handsome, charismatic king @TheComboFiend https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Folded hands" aria-label="Emoji: Folded hands">)I used to love wearing this dress. It was a go-to for me. One night I went to put it on for a night out and my ex stopped me to say "are you sure you wanna wear that?"" class="img-responsive" style="max-width:100%;"/>
I wasn& #39;t sure what he meant til he said the print made it look like I had gained weight. The truth is I probably had? But I didn& #39;t really care until that moment bc people still thought I was rail thin
Any time it looked like I was a little out of shape he& #39;d make sure to let me know that he wouldn& #39;t be attracted to me if I got much bigger. I was still about 120 lbs at that time?
I only ever felt attractive to him if he validated my physical appearance
I only ever felt attractive to him if he validated my physical appearance
Fast forward to now, I& #39;m at my heaviest but a lot of it is muscle and the lockdown 15. I& #39;m mentally struggling with appreciating my body and looking past flaws that when I wore that dress were non existent. I& #39;m still conditioned to see myself as imperfect and not worthy of praise
Lately this has been a daily thought in my mind, I& #39;m intermittent fasting, counting calories and paying attention to macros. It& #39;s hard on me.
then I look at those photos and wonder what the hell he was thinking to tell me I looked fat. It still sticks in the back of my head
then I look at those photos and wonder what the hell he was thinking to tell me I looked fat. It still sticks in the back of my head
So go ahead and tell me again how I was the one to rip away his sanity? When years later I am still suffering with something he told me almost 5 years ago?
By the way this is what I look like now. For reference, so if y& #39;all have decent fat burning activities please send em to your girl
