Read on Twitter
TW: Rape and Victim Blaming
I have decided to write a thread regarding the ongoing argument that has taken up a good deal of my time the last 3 weeks on twitter. I wanted to get some of my thoughts, and some resources together so that I can refer back to it. It is for me, so 1/
I have decided to write a thread regarding the ongoing argument that has taken up a good deal of my time the last 3 weeks on twitter. I wanted to get some of my thoughts, and some resources together so that I can refer back to it. It is for me, so 1/
don't feel bad about not taking the time to read it. I picture it as long and boring. I will add to this as I find more resources.
To start out, most of what I have seen springs from the tweet below, or one similar to it. The way that people have 2/ https://twitter.com/Godlesswh_re/status/1297722082457980931?s=20
To start out, most of what I have seen springs from the tweet below, or one similar to it. The way that people have 2/ https://twitter.com/Godlesswh_re/status/1297722082457980931?s=20
Intentionally misconstrued the point of this tweet is ridiculous. Let's dismiss them first. At no point has anyone that has been on these threads suggested that women not be allowed to defend themselves in any way possible including using a gun. Any suggestion to that effect 3/
is either a misunderstanding of a simple statement, or, more likely, an intentional misrepresentation of the statement so that they can change the argument to what they really want to discuss: their ammosexuality. So let's talk about effectiveness of guns in rape scenarios: 4/
The myth of guns as an effective means of rape protection is really an NRA driven sales tactic. The fact is that while there are certainly success stories involved with women driving an attacker off with a gun, it is far more likely the gun owner https://ocrcc.org/2016/03/17/guns-rape-prevention-a-dangerous-myth/ 5/
will be killed by that gun. One study cited in the article in the above tweet conclusion was that "Guns kept in homes are more likely to be involved in a fatal or nonfatal accidental shooting, criminal assault, or suicide attempt than to be used to injure or kill in 6/
self-defense." To make that clear: this is not combined, any one of the negative results is far more likely than a positive result. These are not rape specific events, but gun ownership in general. 7/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9715182/
In addition to those stats, there are more reasons that a gun is not an effective tool to defend against rape. A 1998 study showed that every time a woman used a gun to kill in self-defense, 101 women were killed by a gun. 8/ https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/9715182/
A couple of final points on guns as a means of protecting women. One is that 44% of all rape victims are less than 17 years old, and therefore ineligible to carry a gun in nearly every state. Some states you have to be 21. Add in felons or others not allowed to own guns 9/
and that means that about 50% of rape victims are not legally allowed to use guns for rape defense. This alone means that they are not the solution to rape that these gun loving rape apologists seem to think they are. The other thing to consider is that the CDC was not 10/
allowed to study gun violence for 22 years (1996-2018) because so many politicians are in the pocket of the NRA. If the NRA thought what they say is true about gun ownership, they would want that info out there. The fact that they have blocked it should be an 11/
indicator that they do not believe what they say. There are dozens more academic studies that show lack of correlation between having a gun and avoiding rape. The only studies that do not demonstrate this are provided by organizations supporting guns. 12/ https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/02/having-a-gun-in-the-house-doesnt-make-a-woman-safer/284022/
SO this ends my gun section of the discussion. I will add more when I find more. I intend to return to this thread and discuss rape culture and the dangers of victim blaming, as well as who is responsible for preventing rapes and how we change rape culture. 13/
So what about other forms of self defense? Again, anything that a woman is comfortable with should be pursued. One of the suggestions that has been repeated is training in martial arts. This is fine, but should also not be considered the magic solution. Among the reasons this 14/
may not be considered effective are: even with training, a stronger, larger assailant still has an advantage. Many if not most rapes are perpetrated by intimate partners, which may prevent a woman from fully using her training, You must remain active in your training. Skills 14/
deteriorate. An attacker with a weapon makes fighting skills less effective. While a vigorous physical resistance may drive off some attackers, it will make others more determined and more violent. 15/ https://humanparts.medium.com/kickboxing-rape-and-the-myth-of-self-defense-8c4845e067f5
Most importantly, everyone's brain reacts differently to trauma. I could say more, but someone more knowledgeable already tweeted about this, so I will cite @JanieGotHerGun : 16/ https://twitter.com/JanieGotHerGun/status/1300101103720292355?s=20
The article cited a couple of tweets above also discusses a little on how being trained and not responding impacts the mental state of a victim, which I will dive into more later. For now, I will repeat: Every woman should do whatever she is comfortable with to try to keep 17/
themselves safe. As most men that have had long term relationships with women know, women already take extraordinary measures to protect themselves from assault everyday in a myriad of circumstances. So many little things that men don't notice and literally never think about. 18/
The point, which I will continue to return to, is that men do not need to tell women how to protect themselves from rape. Men need to focus their activity on changing the behavior of the people that are responsible for the VAST MAJORITY of rapes of both men and women 19/
(Yeah I see you coming the "men are raped too" guy, trying to derail and recenter the conversation). The CDC prevention strategy for rape does not include self defense, or guns, but preventing sexual violence before it starts. 20/ https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/prevention.html
I will talk about why men (fathers, boyfriends, husbands, brothers, strangers etc) telling women how they should prevent getting raped is harmful to victims, whether the advice is given before or after their assault later. This is 42 pages long, but 21/ https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/sexualviolence/prevention.html
supports the perspective that @Godlesswh_re , and all of us have been trying to represent these last couple of weeks. 22/
Why is it harmful to try to tell women how to prevent rape? To quote the website below: “It allows us to live in a society where it is acceptable to teach sexualized violence prevention as “don’t get raped” instead of “don’t rape”.” 23/ https://www.brandonu.ca/sexualviolence/education-prevention/rape-culture/
Although rape culture is a term coined in the 1970’s, there is still a lot of pushback from (primarily) men, who choose to believe that there is no rape culture. I argued with someone last week that claimed there is not a rape culture in the US, because in some countries 24/
women are stoned for complaining about rape. This “it could be worse” approach is common, and women online are often told that they should try living in some other country, usually using it as an opportunity to attack Muslims. It is not an accident that rape apologists 25/
are usually also racist, homophobic, transphobic, biphobic, etc.
I have compared rape to DWI in terms of how society reacts. I believe that society is not as hard as they should be on drunk drivers, because too many of us have driven drunk, 26/
I have compared rape to DWI in terms of how society reacts. I believe that society is not as hard as they should be on drunk drivers, because too many of us have driven drunk, 26/
and don’t want to be thought of as being “bad guys”. I believe that men feel the same way about sexual assault and rape. I think too many men have raped women, but don’t want to believe they are rapists. They want to think that somehow it is not their fault, 27/
so they try to find ways to blame women. When I told someone this the other day they came up with a much cleaner way to put it. This is so perfect. We have to accept our role in rape culture to try to end it. Thanks @mommysharptooth! https://twitter.com/mommysharptooth/status/1300455472982618127?s=20
So what are some things that we do that contribute to rape culture? Victim blaming, rape jokes, concern for the rapist over the victim, not acknowledging marital or partner rape, among others. (Good list in article below) https://www.thoughtco.com/rape-culture-definition-and-examples-4109257
One of the most common rejoinders I have seen in the past few weeks is “Bad guys rape, and that won’t change”, which basically says “Do your best, it’s not going to change”.
A major part of the issue is men feeling entitled to women.
A major part of the issue is men feeling entitled to women.
This has gained a lot of traction in the last few years with the rising incel issue, but it exists outside of that. One common thing nice guys do to prop up rape culture is believing in the “Friend zone”.
The friend zone is a common belief by alleged “Nice Guys” that if they are nice to women, that they somehow have earned sex from them. @OrphanageRules has a great thread about the friendzone here: https://twitter.com/OrphanageRules/status/1125066858581741570?s=20
Of course there is so much more. It is institutionalized. Judges hate to ruin the career of a promising young athlete, but don't consider the damage done to a victim when we trivialize their attack. This is one of many reasons that women don't report, and if you think 33/
Statistics are terrifying, when you realize how many are unreported, it should serve as a call for action to all of us. As many as 80% of rapes go unreported. https://www.brennancenter.org/our-work/analysis-opinion/sexual-assault-remains-dramatically-underreported
The statistics regarding incarceration per crime puts rape below other crimes. The system works in favor of the rapist. https://www.rainn.org/statistics/criminal-justice-system
Men’s sense of entitlement to women is pervasive and overwhelming. There is no “safe” place for women to exist. There has been a thread floating around for a couple of days where an alleged “Resister” made a comment about looking down a nurse’s blouse at the hospital, and 36/
fighting for his right to say it. Then I saw this thread. Read the replies. Understand what women go through EVERY DAY. https://twitter.com/JanieGotHerGun/status/1301736832569421824?s=20
No workplace or job is safe. Women who work in any type of customer service are particularly vulnerable. 37/
No workplace or job is safe. Women who work in any type of customer service are particularly vulnerable. 37/
Keeping their jobs relies on being pleasant in the face of men who are harassing them. Even worse, women who rely on tips have to walk a fine line between being friendly enough to get tips, but protecting themselves from entitled men. 38/
Outside of work, women have to consider everything when making plans, particularly by themselves. I came across this thread, and was struck by the fact that it didn’t just ruin her day; this man ruined an important place for her. 39/
She wasn’t going to be able to feel completely safe in her space again. (Thanks @sheila_garrity) 40/ https://twitter.com/sheila_garrity/status/1301077676468441090?s=20
Of course online opens an entire new realm of harassment and abuse. I have seen men wish rape on someone. I have seen people defend rape as a punishment (another “Resister”). 41/
How often do prison rape jokes become the rage when a political figure is arrested? 42/ https://twitter.com/KateAmrell/status/1302183009379119105?s=20
I have seen claim that rape is little more than an inconvenience. 42/
So we have a lot of pieces, and more I haven’t mentioned, but why address a problem without a solution? Well, there is a solution, but it will require introspection, self-control and accepting responsibility for our actions. Historically, these are not strong categories for men.
How do we overcome rape culture? It will not be easy. It is by definition, a culture change. It is an overwhelming task. I am attaching the CDC Sexual Violence Prevention Technical package that I cited above. 44/
It is dense, pick at it. It is the big picture. https://www.cdc.gov/violenceprevention/pdf/SV-Prevention-Technical-Package.pdf
The CDC document isn’t really about we can do as individuals. It is about the changes that have to happen. What can WE do? 45/
The CDC document isn’t really about we can do as individuals. It is about the changes that have to happen. What can WE do? 45/
The first thing we have to do, as men, is to accept a couple of things. We need to accept that we were raised in a rape culture. We have the power to change our behavior, once we understand that our behavior is wrong. We have been told. 46/
We have been shown examples. And for many of us, we will recognize some of those behaviors, as things we have done, or things that we have allowed to happen without challenging them. We have to accept that we are or that we have been a part of rape culture. 47/
If we don’t accept that, and instead try to absolve ourselves, we cannot move on. To quote the tweet I cited by @mommysharptooth we “have to climb through shame before they get to acceptance and understanding”, so it’s time to strap on our hip boots, and wade on in. 48/
The article attached “16 ways you can stand against rape culture", from UN women is spot on. If you want to make the changes, make the changes. Pass them onto your sons and grandsons and nephews. This is where you start https://www.unwomen.org/en/news/stories/2019/11/compilation-ways-you-can-stand-against-rape-culture
Additionally on a slightly more passive note, while here on Twitter, amplify the voices of women. Retweet, like, comment (but please do not tweak the message, they don't need your help). When you see a woman dealing with misogynistic trolls, give your support. Be a Simp!
My favorites to follow and amplify
My favorite: @JanieGotHerGun, Survivors first. Always.
@SarahGarlits Sunshine With an Edge
@Godlesswh_re I could not deal with what she deals with
@kr1st1nf1n1ty Proof you can be tough and kind
@_catladyash Funny, fierce, dirty mind, clean hands
My favorite: @JanieGotHerGun, Survivors first. Always.
@SarahGarlits Sunshine With an Edge
@Godlesswh_re I could not deal with what she deals with
@kr1st1nf1n1ty Proof you can be tough and kind
@_catladyash Funny, fierce, dirty mind, clean hands
Other women to follow and amplify
@RainbowRevRAE
@brewsandbats
@snarkraider
@ewenthel
@masolni
@AngelaLovesNY
@KT8812
@sandpitsquirtal
@yeralizard
@CanuckBitch
@she_obey
@stinkydogagain
@AuntyDemented
@SweetInTheGale
@IDreamOfNinja
@ladyasterianox
@silverskyjanet
@RainbowRevRAE
@brewsandbats
@snarkraider
@ewenthel
@masolni
@AngelaLovesNY
@KT8812
@sandpitsquirtal
@yeralizard
@CanuckBitch
@she_obey
@stinkydogagain
@AuntyDemented
@SweetInTheGale
@IDreamOfNinja
@ladyasterianox
@silverskyjanet
And More
@zarascomics
@OrphanageRules
@NinjaSocialist
@SpiffySpiderKat
@Suddenstorm0
@badvelociraptor
@deaddr0pfred
@NerdyNurse41
@RogueArtemis
@AboveNun
@wronglever_
@sheila_garrity
@mommysharptooth
@Daphne_488
I know I've missed some great ones, so feel free to add
@zarascomics
@OrphanageRules
@NinjaSocialist
@SpiffySpiderKat
@Suddenstorm0
@badvelociraptor
@deaddr0pfred
@NerdyNurse41
@RogueArtemis
@AboveNun
@wronglever_
@sheila_garrity
@mommysharptooth
@Daphne_488
I know I've missed some great ones, so feel free to add
And some guys I aspire to be as good as:
@clubbing_guy
@aclockworkduck
@JSampleVA
@TwentyGrit
@anxiousairman
@CulturalDead
@BeardedHeckler
@confusatron
@EXPELincels
@dublonothing
@AssholeGentlem1
@Bob_omb18
@1daveyouknow
@lord_files
@rain4estwhitaka
@clubbing_guy
@aclockworkduck
@JSampleVA
@TwentyGrit
@anxiousairman
@CulturalDead
@BeardedHeckler
@confusatron
@EXPELincels
@dublonothing
@AssholeGentlem1
@Bob_omb18
@1daveyouknow
@lord_files
@rain4estwhitaka
Sorry the thread was so long, I'm sure that I missed some really great people, so please add them in the comments. Wish I had more followers, so I could really elevate everyone listed.
