I've been discharged from crisis team back to MH team. Still waiting to hear result of complaint against insane psych who traumatised me for 15 mins whilst he was clearly suffering from a god delusion/complex but also told me, alarmingly, he "knows what rapists think". (1)

My discharge meeting was the only the 2and time I've got up and left the room & not come back. The crisis team guy was cocky, had an attitude, (his mask was under his nose most of the time 2). I told the truth that mh team have never cared & r awful. He argued with me (2)

so I said look at the reviews, there all 1 star. He was getting pretty fired up, lectured me on how the staff are overworked (I agree but not an excuse for everything ALL the time), how all the patients he knows love the place etc. I said I've known LOADS of patients (3)

And they all have just been left/treated badly (1 I knew killed himself as they didn't want to know & there have been so many suicides under this team). Then I was lectured about how it's all down to the cuts since 2010. Even my mum said it's been bad since I was 18 (I'm 36) (4)

He was getting really defensive & at the start, he said he'd read the very long, detailed notes I'd made for the team about my mh (they didn't know what hypomania was etc, clearly dont know symptoms of cptsd). Told me that whilst SOME ppl find the BPD/EUPD label stigmatising (5)

most of his patients found it useful to get the help they need. Either he didn't read my notes or he was trying to goad me bc in them I had explained ever since my diagnosis was changed to BPD, I've been treated badly by most mh professionals, labelled an attention seeker (6)

a liar, told to get a job etc. Not taken seriously by police over physical & mainly sexual assaults. My physical health was no longer taken seiously: had to live with severe back pain for over 12 years which, if I'd been believed, could have been cured in a month by physio, (7)

but most horrifying of all, bc of the label, when I was rushed into hospital in agony, the following happened: I was in a bed in a woman's ward with my then partner. The nurses/female gynae had been having dogs at me the whole time, bc of course there was "nothing wrong" (8)

The female gynae & a nurse pulled the curtains shut around my bed, my boyfriend insisted on staying with me which they didn't like. Gynae shouted "open your legs". I did. She didn't even put gloves on or warn me. Just violently fisted me repeatedly shouting "does THIS hurt?" (9)

I was loudly sobbing, my bf was yelling "what the hell are you doing to her", the other women in the ward were shouting what's going on. My bf told them. They all wanted to call police. Gynae left, nurse told the women I was being "oversensitive" to an internal inspection (10)

But they weren't buying it. I was completely defeated & traumatised. I just wanted to go home. I wish I had let them call the police as at least I had witnesses for that trauma. Not long after, I had a scan which revealed that I had an extremely large cyst on my ovary. (11)

That was the cause of the pain. It was removed. I still have panic attacks leading up to & during any physical health check that involves having to lie down whilst being touched, even the dentist. If I have a female gynae, I'm terrified. (12)

Not believed about being allergic to meds over the last few years. One time I had full on anaphylaxis &nearly died. Nurses at a&e told me I'm a time waster & needed a dermatologist. I was completely covered in large blisters, intense muscle spasms etc. Not tested 4 allergy (13)

That night my lips were swelling up so much had to prise my lip ring out before it split lip open. Then throat started swelling up & my lungs were in trouble. Took antihistamines every few hours & used inhaler. If I hadn't, I would have died, no question. (14)

When I went to my team with my partner last year, the nurse who saw us hadn't seen me with my walking stick before. She was trying not to laugh with a grin on her face as she asked "what have you got that for?". I felt like saying "well, I wasn't getting enough attention (15)

so I thought I'd pretend to be disabled" but knew how that would go down so said "it's a walking stick. To help me WALK". She told us both a bunch of lies then as we left, my partner said "what did she find so funny? What was that about?". (16)

I've had my very long, serious list of trauma reduced to 1 line by mh team: "patient alleges an assault". I've been told by psychs I can't have psychosis as I'm female & 1 tried to say I had alien abduction syndrome (never seen an alien), then convinced I had epilepsy (17)

(Had full epilepsy test as inpatient: no chance of having it) & in the end, agreed I have psychosis but it was clearly caused by my massive cocaine habit. How I'd been paying for that, I'm not sure & it can't have been good stuff because I was severely overweight! (18)

This is just SOME of why I hate the BPD/EUPD tag. I recently had my bipolar dx reinstated by a good psych. He agreed to review the EUPD dx in the future. I just KNEW that the crisis team guy had an agenda. He was dismissing my awful treatment bc of EUPD dx (19)

I told him I'd been abused by a psych at MH team. He said why didn't you report it then twice, whilst I was trying to say I had. Then he said "abuse is a very strong word". I said well it was! My mother said the same as me at the same time. He KNEW i would be triggered by it (20)

So when he was getting more & more agitated & aggressive about how all the bad stuff is down to the cuts & inferring heavily that I was just making up my mistreatment by MH services (remember,no other patients he knows have bad experiences with them!), I couldn't take it (21)

I walked out saying I didn't like his attitude. He talked to my mum & came out, spoke to me really nicely (gaslighting), got me to sign the discharge form & told me to call him if I needed a chat (no thanks). My mum didn't agree with me about him being nasty and aggressive (22)

And I do take into account that I have been getting angry and triggered a lot recently (mixed bipolar episode +reliving years of trauma replaying in my head +living in an unsafe hellhole = rage) so I may have thought he was being nastier than he was but everything (23)

I said in this thread is true, including what he said to me. I will say though, I was pleasantly surprised by the MH team nurse. She was actually helpful & knew things. Really shocked as this is rare. So I did get a positive out of it but I wish MH professionals would LISTEN (24)