Ladies, it’s time. You must make the most important decision of your life. Do you want sex with a Ninja or a guy like me? In this thread I will list the reasons why I, Danny Sexbang, should be your lover. And why Ninja Brian is fucking lame.

First up, looks. I am tall, handsome, strong but tender, and have a beautiful head of hair. Ninja Brian is not tall, he’s ugly, and is secretly bald under his mask.

Next, skills:
I’m an extremely talented musician with the voice of an angel. Imagine being serenaded by me as we share a romantic evening on the beach. I’m also an incredible lover. I’ll Ninja Thrust and take you places you’ve never been.

Ninja Brian is a terrible singer, in fact he can’t sing at all! And he can’t actually play piano, it’s all a lie. It’s actually me laying down sexy piano jams. He is also a crazed murderer. Is that really the kinda guy you wanna take home to meet the parents?

Or would you rather introduce your parents to me, a kind, gentle, loving soul who goes above and beyond for his partner. Also Ninja Brian is a terrible lover, the worst in fact! He’s never even been with a woman yet he still has an STD! And on top of that his dick is so small-

Wait...what was that sound? OH GOD OH FUCK! BRIAN, NO! I’M SORRY! PUT DOWN THE HONDA CIVIC! IT’S NOT INSURED! AHHHHHHHHH-