#2ha #ranwan [spoilers]

thinking thoughts about how taxian jun and mo zongshi are both incredibly attuned to aspects of chu wanning's desires, but both also have things to learn in order to please chu wanning in a complete, all encompassing way

chu wanning is a man who has been alone for a very, very long time, and has built a wall around himself; he is perceived as loft, dignified, unattainable. this leaves him lonely and ashamed of the desires he keeps buried in his heart.

but chu wanning's desires run deep, despite the fact that he keeps them hidden.

he desires to be cherished and given the unending affection he has been denied throughout his life. he wants tenderness, sweetness, and devotion.

he also wants to be claimed, to feel like he -

belongs to his beloved, to lose himself in the sensation of being debauched. he craves the feeling of being desired so much that he is consumed by lust.

these desires are satisfied by both taxian jun and mo zongshi, but in different ways.

mo zongshi can easily read chu wanning's desire to be doted on and treated tenderly. he makes love to him like he is the most precious thing in the world, gives his entire self to pleasing chu wanning. he can see the way chu wanning resists yet reacts positively to his affection.

chu wanning has been deprived of gentleness for so long, and mo zongshi wants to pour all of his love and adoration into him.

taxian jun, on the other hand, sees the way that chu wanning trembles under him when he pins him down and claims him, notices how his body reacts to to being ravaged, sees the slutty side of chu wanning that just begs to be released.

taxian jun shows his love through possessiveness, an all consuming love that lets chu wanning forget himself for a while and indulge in this carnal desire to have control taken from him in the most intoxicating way.

both taxian jun and mo zongshi offer themselves to chu wanning in similar ways; in acts of service. they love him dearly and want to give him everything.

but both of them have to undergo a process of learning in order to learn how to cater to his desires in their entirety.

both taxian jun and mo zongshi have the have the capability of fulfilling each of chu wanning's desires, but they both suppress aspects of this in their own way. taxian jun is unfamiliar with tenderness, while mo zongshi buries the beast inside him in favor of being respectful.

taxian jun and mo ran are facets of the same person, so it only makes sense that they both have the capability of satisfying both sides of chu wanning's desire, but due to circumstances, they are each more attuned to one aspect of chu wanning's desire.

this leaves them both with the opportunity to explore and learn how to please chu wanning in a whole, complete way.

while it's understandable why mo zongshi resists the desire to claim and consume, he has to learn that chu wanning loves every part of him, even the part that is feral and possessive. chu wanning has come to accept that he is loved and valued, even if he has trouble -

remembering it some days (as i am certain that his own insecurities would not simply vanish in an instant), and so he trusts both mo zongshi and taxian jun to indulge in their more possessive side. he has given himself entirely to mo ran, to every part of him.

but mo zongshi is so busy focusing on burying the beast inside him that he is blind to chu wanning's desire to be ravished and taken until he can't think straight, until his body is simply a conduit of pleasure. mo zongshi isn't as able to see that this is liberating and -

empowering for a man who has felt undesired for his whole life. he doesn't realize that this part of himself fulfills an incredibly important desire inside of chu wanning.

meanwhile, it's equally understandable that taxian jun is unequipped to read chu wanning's desire for affection, because taxian jun is unfamiliar with tenderness. he only knows how to ravage and possess. between the and circumstance, taxian jun is simply not in touch with -

that side of himself, because that part of him has never been acknowledged or nurtured. this leaves him unable to recognize chu wanning's need for tenderness.

this leaves us with so much opportunity for growth and learning post-canon. both mo zongshi and taxian jun are parts of a whole that is entirely dedicated to loving chu wanning, in every way that he needs - but due to the fact that taxian jun and mo zongshi diverged and then -

came back together, there are gaps in their understanding. these are things that they now have the space to learn. they get to spend their days learning how to love chu wanning in every way that he deserves.

both taxian jun and mo zongshi have dedicated themselves to pleasing and loving chu wanning, but their story leaves me imagining the long process of learning they have to embark on now that they have their private, domestic life together.

they both will learn eventually, because they have their whole lives to grow and learn alongside chu wanning, who is simultaneously learning how to express these desires that he keeps hidden.

mo ran is perfect for chu wanning. taxian jun/mo zongshi both know him deeply and are capable of continuing to learn every aspect of their beloved.

chu wanning will never again be given reason to doubt that he is loved and cherished beyond words, and i think that's beautiful.