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1/ Our house is a literal wreck - we're running out of space for class workarea for 2 kids. I'm WFH on the dining rm table - where 4+ milk spills have almost soaked my laptop - the chaos is stressing my spouse out. Me? This day is no diff than any day of my life - w/ADHD - I feel
2/ like everything is always slipping out of control. For so long that I'm okay w/ the chaos - it's just a different take on a day in the life. It saddens me that our house will never be in a state to entertain folks - social visits. It stings to know friends/fam quietly judge
3/ I worry that the lack of interior design/cohesion/organization will be detrimental to my kids ... That said, the whole house is our lab. My boys read fiction at least 30 min a day, my youngest is walking around right now w/ a prism up to his eyes - literally seeing the world
/4 through a different lens. We enjoy museums & zoos & other engagements w/ the life sciences. We listen to audiobooks & read together & discuss characters. We talk about current affairs and how language is used - idioms, figures of speech et cetera. When we use a word outside
5/ their vocabulary, they don't hesitate to ask what it means - we each share our sense of the word & then we look it up on the Internet. For all the poverty of decorum & presentation - we swim in a richness of knowledge & discovery.
What worries me the most about virtual school
What worries me the most about virtual school
6/ comes down to two basic things:
A.) Physical activity
B.) Socialization
I guess there is also the sum of A+B
In other words the physicality & sensory elements of that socialization as well as the social elements of their physical activity.
A.) Physical activity
B.) Socialization
I guess there is also the sum of A+B
In other words the physicality & sensory elements of that socialization as well as the social elements of their physical activity.
7/ I'm not here to argue that virtual socialization is without merit or that it's worse than physical socialization. I don't believe that. I think it is a lot like a well balanced diet. We need a diversity of sensory input. All of one & none of the other, whether vitamins or
8/ social interactions, can lead to an unhealthy imbalance. At least, that is what I think. I'm not sure if there is enough research to back up my speculation - but from the info I've gathered over the yrs reading research on childhood dev - this is what I think.
9/ As ADHD as I am, it is difficult to manage daily functions required to maintain a professional career & to be a loving, present father. I have to triage my focus. Providing the psychological & material necessities for my partner & my kids requires me to forego certain status
/10 ... certain status elevating markers: an impressive home (interior & exterior), being seen at the "right" social events, participation in social clubs (ie. church et cetera), status sports like golf - and I'm sure there are other status signals I'm letting slide
11/ I'm not saying we live in filth & squalor. We clean & maintain the functional integrity of our domicile & our transports. Neither 1 of us is especially skilled at clutter culling & organization. Imagine a college professor w/ an office stacked floor to ceiling w/ books &
12/ other scholarly artifacts - that professor so enthusiastic about their area of expertise that their students can't help but catch that enthusiasm. Now imagine that professor has toys & game controllers & kids books & the asundry of pets. & imagine a computer & gadget hobbyist
13/ sharing that space. So, yeah, our driveway is busted up, it's been years since water damage pulled away plaster from the ceiling in our den. We fixed the structural issue (water leak w/ new roof) but haven't fixed the cosmetic. It's a lot to manage. I can barely do our taxes.
14/ I can barely pay the bills on time (money isn't the problem, time mgmt & change mgmt are.) Our walls are mostly bare of design w/ rare exception of some art inexpertly hung. Artifacts of the kids' schooling are randomly taped/wedged into display about the house - as if the
15/ whole kitchen is the refrigerator. With the space & unlimited resources & a professional - I could have our house organized, designed interior & exterior - lack of creative vision isn't the problem. I can organize the fuck out of digital spaces (the taxonomical & categorical
16/ are areas I thrive in) I design, implement, streamline systems & structures for a living. But someone is paying me to spend 8 to 10 hrs a day dedicated & focused. How does one enjoy living w/ their kids & spouse AND use one's expertise at home between meals & fam time?
17/ I've been trying to solve for this X for 20 yrs (even b4 I had kids.) Nevermind the fact that I once aspired to be a writer of some merit - even if just achieving a body of work I'm proud of as the only reader. That's been buried so far from reach, I don't know where to start
18/ I write b/c I can't stop - but there is no body of work - no long term design or end in sight. I write into the void. Into the chaos. It feels no different than any other day of my life. The rest of the world around me has accomplishments. I almost have my degree, I almost
19/ have a career, I almost have a middle class home, I'm almost a good father. The only thing I have fully is a life of loose ends, interrupted projects and books mostly read. That & a family I love fully, a family that doesn't doubt my love - that loves me back
20/ I live in a fullness of now, a chaotic now - an unfinished now, a less than architected now, a now that never plays out according to plan. A now that I've always had, living in the avalanche of time & circumstance.
I look back on this thread of thoughts & think
I look back on this thread of thoughts & think
/21 these are good problems to have. I'm not systematically discriminated against (unless you count a world of neurotypical bias as discrimination - as far as being on the shit end of bias, I've got it pretty good - medication, practice & luck can help me blend.)
/22 If you're reading this & thinking, "Okay white het boy - cry me your sob story ..." - you're right. I'm lucky & privileged. Honestly, I wish I was more functional, b/c I want to leverage this luck & privilege to better help dismantle racial & gendered bigotry.
/23 I don't want to live in a world where bigotry is leveraged for dominance over others. I'll do what I can. Sometimes, I get lost in my own chaotic now.
