i could. write an au where. wlw wangxian. and wwx hasn't bought herself a new bra since high school. and lwj is like...."let me............give you this"

the motivating factor of course is the underwire in wwx's bra finally ripping out and her showing up to the library where lwj works in a boxy hoodie in lat august, when it's still 90 degrees in 80 percent humidity, in running shorts and flip flops

standing at the circulation desk looking like she's going to pass out of heat exhaustion at eleven in the morning, sweating. she and lan zhan are friends; they go WAY WAY back

and as a result lwj knows the Entire Tragic History of wwx's adoptive family that never quite loved her enough to let her be herself; only loved her enough to let her give and give

(and finally give her sister jc a kidney when she was 22 and then cut her off one semester short of graduating college)

lwj and wwx go way back; far enough back that lwj has the second key to wwx's apartment.

and anyway: she shows up in this huge hoodie and lwj is like "why are you not dressed appropriately for the weather." she knows wwx has weather appropriate clothing. she knows she has little sundresses in red viscose blend that turn invisible when she gets caught in the rain

(lwj does not revisit "oh, lan zhan, i got caught in the rain!" on a weekly basis. it is not sororal to meditate on your best friend's wet skin, her hair getting caught in dark whorls around her face and neck, the cling of red fabric against her chest, her hips, her thighs)

(wwx is lwj's best friend. wwx is vivacious and bright and friendly and she flirts with everyone, everyone. she could never want what lwj wants-- could never want to be held jealously by her)

wwx laughs (like the fall of dew on tender buds). "you've sort of caught me in a laundry emergency, lan zhan!" she tosses her long, black ponytail. she's flushed and sweating. lan zhan usually loves it when she comes in flushed and sweating

she leans over the desk, close. "just between us gals, my last bra bit it this morning. i'll probably get a new one on my next paycheck."

lwj frowns. "you cannot wear a black hoodie everywhere in high summer, wei ying," she says. it is the same tone she uses when she tells children to use their inside voices. stern but caring.

"yeah, but i can't not pay my rent, lan zhan," she says. "i'm fine. it's fine."

(it's not fine). "i'll see you around, lan zhan!" wei ying says. she leans over the desk enough to kiss lan zhan on the cheek (she kisses everyone on the cheek-- her brother, her sister, the nie girl, mo xuanyu) and smiles. she's gone as suddenly as she came-- lightning.

lwj watches her go. and she considers wwx's needs for the rest of her shift.

she goes home and makes a private appointment with the lingerie shop she favors that evening. and she makes plans to get lunch with wei ying, shortly before on the same day.

wwx shows up not in a hoodie, thank god, but her arms are crossed over her chest. "sorry, all i have is a bathing suit top," she says

lwj nods. "will you help me run an errand afterward?"
wwx smiles, brightly in response. "of course, lan zhan! anything!"

lwj smiles as their lunch order arrives. wwx looks at it, confused. "oh, i already ate," she says.

(she didn't; lwj knows this) "i was worried you would be late," she says (a half truth), "and i know what you usually get," (a whole truth). "you can take the leftovers with us, if you're not hungry now. it would be a shame to waste it"

(this is one of the better strategies for actually getting wwx to eat )

anyway: after lunch, lwj talks them on the quick walk to the shop-- just around the block. lwj holds the door open for wei ying to step in and she looks at it and then she looks at lan zhan.

"lan zhan," she murmurs. "this is for lingerie."

"mm," lan zhan answers. "i needed a new piece and was unsure my best size. would you like to be sized as well? they are excellent."

wwx looks from the clerk at the counter, who is smiling. she looks at lan zhan. "sure," she says. she laughs, just a little. "sure!"

lan zhan is disappointed that this has to happen in separate rooms. but she is naturally taciturn and wei ying is naturally chatty. there's a lot to overhear.

"ahaha, yeah," she says. "i don't have a lot of disposable income, so it's been a while since i've done this" she overhears. the clerk says something.

"something similar to what you recieved last time, ms. lan?" her dresser asks her. lan zhan nods. she leans close to the clerk, though, "and whatever she likes. regardless of price."
her dresser nods.

lan zhan is busty, but she’s not in specialty sizes. she likes to buy beautiful things, though. she likes to curate her life.

“i think i’m a c?” wei ying says in her dressing room.
there is polite laughter. “no, ma’am,” is the answer.
“oh,” wei ying answers

lan zhan’s dresser returns, six things on hangers. two nudes, one black; three in white and blue that they know lan zhan favors. the dresser slips away.

“bras come in a g?” wei ying cries, incredulous.

lan zhan looks at herself in the mirror. she doesn’t own any black bras. this one is thin mesh, with a basic scallop trim along the cups. demure. she turns. is this too girlish?

a thought occurs to her.
“wei ying,” she calls.

“mm, lan zhan?” she calls back.
“my dress, the white linen?”
“with the buttons?” wei ying clarifies
“no the bell sleeves,” lan zhan calls.
“oh that one! i love that one.”

“can you tell me if this would under it?”
she pulls back the dressing room curtain.

wei ying peeks out, just her head. “oh my god,” she says, before pulling her head back inside.

“wei ying?” lan zhan asks.

“sorry,” wei ying says, laughing. forced brightness. “sorry. it looks incredible. you look incredible.”
lan zhan nods. “but the dress?”
“oh,” wei yong answers. “uh.”
“please,” lan zhan says. “take another look for me?”

wei ying peers back out. she’s blushing.
“i think it should be fine?” she answers. “and if it does show, you can act like it’s on purpose. like, that’s a look. it’s a great look.”
lan zhan nods. “thank you wei ying,” she responds.
“yeah no problem”

“what are friends for, lan zhan?”
lan zhan closes the curtain. “yes,” she says. “friends.”

lan zhan sets aside the black to get for herself. she likes on of the white pieces— cloud motifs in the mesh with a pearl suspended in between the cups.

“oh,” wei ying says in her dressing room. “i didnt realize—“
“yes, ma’am,” the dresser replies.
“uh, wow, this is really nice.”
“any colors that ma’am prefers?”

“red and black,” lan zhan answers for her.
“yeah,” wei ying replies. “red and black.”

lan zhan’s dresser comes back with two more pieces.
“does the black come in a set?” she asks.
“yes, ms. lan,” the dresser answers. “your usual size?”
“please.”

a new sports bra in a minimalist style— she likes it; it’s high impact and will be perfect for running. a bralette in bamboo viscose that is wonderfully smooth on her skin and in a baby blue she glows in.

“oh i love this one,” wei ying says. “wow this is so pretty.”
“would you like to show your companion?” the dresser asks.

lan zhan loves this store.

“lan zhan?” wei ying asks.
lan zhan pulls the curtain of her dressing room, still just in her bralette and skirt.

the curtain on the other side parts, and there’s wei ying.

wei ying is deeply suntanned, her skin golden and brown in many places. her belly and bosom are paler, though. she’s thinner than lan zhan— not nearly so muscular. and she has the largest breasts lan zhan has ever seen on a real person.

it’s not that wei ying dresses modestly— it’s not that lan zhan hasn’t looked at her. but in their friendship, they have never been so naked with each other. and wei ying has always worn was apparently have been deeply inadequate bras.

wei ying stands there, a little shyly, in a black, powermesh bra that cups her breasts carefully, beautifully. the cups are embroidered to look like lotuses, flowers that hold her breasts in the center.

and wei ying's breasts look soft. striped with stretch marks but full. lan zhan feels her fingers squeeze, reflexively, as she imagines their weight in her hands.

lan zhan knows that the bra she's wearing, retails off sale for about half of what wei ying's rent costs. which means its more than the total sum of the rest of her outfit. because everyone who could care for wei ying in this way-- everyone who would-- no longer speaks to her.

wei ying looks so beautiful; she looks so beautiful when wearing something she's meant to wear.

"lan zhan?" wei ying asks.

lan zhan feels her ears turn red. she nods. wei ying smiles so broadly her eyes and nose both crinkle.

"beautiful," lan zhan answers, honestly.
and wei ying laughs. "lan zhan, you can't just say things like that, oh my god!"

"would miss like to see something else?"
"something red," lan zhan says.
"of course, ms. lan," wei ying's desser says.
"lan zhan, you're so funny!" wei ying replies.

yes, lan zhan thinks. so funny.

lan zhan's dresser comes back with two more pieces. "these are well suited for a special occasion, miss lan," she murmurs and slips out of the door.
lan zhan feels her face heat just looking at them.

"oh, wow, this is so pretty," wei ying coos from the other dressing room.

the first piece they brought in for lan zhan is not quite right. someone else would love the effect of its white lace more. the ribbon on it is not quite the right shade of pink on her. and the silhouette-- hm. it makes her feel girlish.

for the price, she won't be taking it home.

the second set though--

it's a balconette piece in dark red. the red that wobbles the line between red and rich, warm black. and it is densely embroidered. thick flowers, many-petaled, spread improbably over it and up over the straps. it's not really a bra-- it's more like embroidered jewelry.

she doesn't have anything quite like it. and there's a panty to match.

lan zhan redresses quickly. she buttons her shirt all the way to the collar; lays her necklace through the collar delicately. she tucks in her shirt and smooths over her belly. she tosses her dark hair off of her shoulders.

she checks her nails. she puts her lipstick back on and then she steps out of the dressing room and sits on the bench just beside the register.

she knows her aunt would never approve. that this is vanity and decadence, not beauty. that there is no beauty without diligence.

but she is tired of luxury that pretends at utilitarianism; she is tired of love that is constrained by use.

so she started buying lingerie, to be beautiful for a girl who is too precious to be tightly held. and now she's here.

she closes her eyes, sitting in the lingerie shop. she sees wei ying, her beautiful breasts. her bright, warm smile.

she opens her eyes. she smooths her skirt; she creased it, gripping her knee.

wei ying emergest out of the back a little while later.
"lan zhan, you wear some really fancy underwear," she says.
lan zhan nods.

"are you ready, miss lan?" the clerk asks.
"mm," she responds. she pulls her card from her wallet and the clerk hands her the bags. discrete-- black with an ivory border, no text, white tissue paper.

they exit the store and lan zhan checks the bags, before handing wei ying her bras. wei ying looks at the offering, confused.

"lan zhan?" she asks.
"for you," she says.
wei ying's brows twitch. frowning.

"lan zhan, this is-- that's-- i can't except this," she says.
"i will not return it," she answers. "if you will not take them, i cannot wear them."
"lan zhan, that cost...so much money," he murmurs.

"i can afford to spend it," she says.
wei ying looks at the bag, before taking it. "i really shouldn't," she says. "i can't repay this."
"i am not asking you to repay it," lan zhan answers.

lan zhan knows that wei ying is not accustomed to being loved in this way. for her needs to be met without extracting from her some value or some promise or some piece of herself.

wei ying looks in the bag a little shyly. "was lunch just a ploy to get me underwear?" she asks.
lan zhan swallows. "there is an excellent tapas place a block or so from here. we could get dinner," she says.
wei ying laughs.

"oh, lan zhan," she says. "thank you for taking care of me."

lan zhan can't help but think that her pet rabbit would do wonderfully with another person in her apartment, and that her closet has always been half empty.
"of course," she answers.

the next time wei ying comes into the library, lan zhan knows she's wearing one of the bras.

"freak rainstorm!" wei ying exclaims.

lan zhan's mouth is dry.

she's wearing a miniskirt and a white t-shirt. and the shirt is plastered to her with water. and the bra, the bra with lotuses, the bra is black. and the shirt is wet and white. and thin.

lan zhan stands up too quickly, trips over a chair leg, and winds up stumbling into the book cart.
"lan zhan?" wei ying asks. there's the ripping velcro sound of her bike pannier opening.

lan zhan rubs her knee and then she looks back up. "do you -- would you like a towel?" she asks.
"oh, no, i'm fine," wei ying answers. "i just needed to drop these off; i'm going to the co-op." she puts the books in the return slot. "it's just a lucky coincidence you're here!"

lan zhan frowns. "wei ying, it is raining."
"waterproof panniers!" she says, she pulls down her ponytail and pulls her long thick hair through her hands. she spreads her fingers wide and pushes her hair back from her face. "besides, it's not like i'm getting any wetter."

lan zhan feels like she's been kicked in the chest. she nods.
"anyway, do you want to come over for dinner tonight? we agreed that i don't have to pay you back for the bra but surely i can do dinner."

it takes longer than it should, for the information to translate from wei ying's words to lan zhan's brain.
"dinner?" she asks.

wei ying nods. "i thought we could order in from that pho place and i could pretend i cooked," she says. "you could pretend to be impressed."

lan zhan nods. she nods again. "i have to care for my rabbit after work," she says.
"come after," wei ying says. she grabs her pannier. she blows a kiss over her shoulder. "see you then!"

lan zhan is clumsy and distracted the rest of the day. when she finally clocks out, it takes remarkable self control to take the bus home and not attempt to run the whole way there herself.

she gets in the door and pulls off her shoes and stows her umbrella in her coat closet. she takes a long deep breath.
her phone buzzes. a text from wei ying.
/see you in an hour?/ it reads.
/yes/, lan zhan answers.

she measures out xiao bai's food and puts it in her cage. she makes sure her water is full.
"i apologize," she says to her rabbit. "i will spend more time with you tomorrow. something unexpected has occurred."

xiao bai's little nose twitches in a way lan zhan decides is forgiving.
she walks to her bedroom and quickly strips. she twists her hair into a shower cap and takes a quick shower, just to wash the smell of work off of her. she dries off and opens her drawers.

the thing about the red set is that it's not practical for everyday wear. it's too beautiful. it's too dark with most of lan zhan's clothes. it's an uncommon cut, and it projects her breasts forward, giving her frankly unreal cleavage.

her fingers drift over it for a moment, before she pulls it on with the matching underwear. and the thing is, she doesn't have a matching garter belt for it, but she has a basic black one that isn't too distracting.

she tugs on her nude stockings easily-- black backseams making a long line up the back of her calves.

and after that, well, it's just into her dress with oval cutout that her cleavage peeks through quite nicely and then she ties back her hair with her long white ribbon. her lipstick she can put on in the ride. she tugs on her heels out the door. she will not be late.

lan zhan arrives at wei ying's apartment right on time.

wei ying's apartment is up four flights of stairs. lan zhan gets to the top of them and takes a deep breath. she makes sure her hair is neat. she presses her lips together, one last time. she knocks.

"just a minute!" wei ying calls.

lan zhan is so glad she did her manicure on monday. her nails aren't too long and they're freshly painted.

"be moderate in your affections and wise in their display," she murmurs, feeling her ears heat before she can stop them. a perfectly normal manicure. for a perfectly normal dinner with her best friend, who incidentally, is extraordinarily beautiful.

the door opens. wei ying's hair is in a tall ponytail and she's only wearing a tiny bathrobe. she looks at lan zhan, eyes as wide as saucers and shuts the door immediately.
"one more second!" she cries.

a minute later, the door opens again. wei ying is standing there, flushed to the roots of her hair in jeans a silky camisole. "i'm so sorry," she says. "I thought you were the delivery guy. come in, come in!"

lan zhan steps into wei ying's remarkably clean apartment. her roommate is nowhere to be seen.
"where is--?"
"oh, xuanyu had a thing," she says. "it's just the two of us."

"i see," lan zhan says. she places her purse on the back of a chair.

"would like some tea? or some water? i know i've got some sparkling water around here."
"tea would be lovely," lan zhan answers. there's a knock at the door.
"oh! there's the pho!" wei ying says.

and soon enough they're both seated on wei ying's couch, each with a tall deli container of soup-- beef with tendon and tripe for wei ying; the vegetarian option with extra bean sprouts and extra basil for lan zhan.

and this is so comfortable. so familiar. like a million and one evenings from college onward. lan zhan and wei ying.

and this is wholly unfamiliar. completely new territory for lan zhan, who had a few hookups in college but nothing serious. nothing she wanted to be serious. nothing she's wanted like she's wanted wei ying.

"i know it's not as good as that tapas joint," wei ying says, "but i know we've gotten stuff from these guys before. do you want to watch something? maybe a movie?"
lan zhan nods, slurping noodles.

"awesome-- there's this old j-horror thing i've wanted to see for a while but mo xuanyu's already seen it and i can't watch it by myself. he told me it's not too gory. is that cool?"
lan zhan nods.

which means that twenty minutes later, wei ying puts on the movie and turns on a lamp, and then twenty minutes later, wei ying is sitting very close to lan zhan. close enough that lan zhan can feel the body heat of her next to her.

"oh that's a bad room," wei ying says as something happens on the television.
"mm," lan zhan agrees.

she is having a great deal of difficulty following what is happening. she can see the top of wei ying's head; she can smell her shampoo; she can feel her little hand gripping her knee tightly. she can feel her shoulder pressing into the soft flesh of her own chest.

wei ying gasps at something. lan zhan grabs her hand, reflexively. wei ying grabs back.

wei ying is practically in her lap. her knees drawn up close to her. and lan zhan--

lan zhan can see, where her camisole has pooled, the edge of white lace along the curve of wei ying's beautiful, soft chest.

"wei ying," she murmurs, before she can stop herself.

wei ying turns, just barely, to look at her. with her beautiful grey eyes.
"lan zhan?" she whispers.

her mouth is round and red. lan zhan can see the curve of her two front teeth, peeking out below her top lip. wei ying bites her bottom lip.

lan zhan lets go of wei ying hand, to reach forward, to tug her lip from her teeth with her thumb. lets her hand rest there, just at wei ying's chin, at her jaw.

under her fingers, lan zhan can feel the thin, wispy hairs of her fine facial hair. this close, lan zhan can see every dark eyelash that rings the bottom of wei ying's eyes.

lan zhan leans forward slowly, and finally, finally, finally, finally, she kisses wei ying.

"lan er-jie," wei ying sighs. "touch me."
"anything," lan zhan answers, and her hand slides under wei ying's camisole, over the smooth, soft skin of her belly.

(nsfw for a little bit here okay)

wei ying stops being /almost/ in lan zhan's lap and she starts /definitely/ being in lan zhan's lap. she throws her leg over her lap and she's straddling her. her forearms rest on lan zhan's shoulders. and her chest-- her still clothed chest-- is more or less at eye level.

"wei ying," lan zhan says, her voice feeling strangled.

wei ying cups her jaw in her hand, tilts her head up, and she kisses her. and this one is different from the first. this is--

the first one was the tide coming in. a return of something, an order synching up into the world. this is a flood.

wei ying's mouth is bright-hot on her. her tongue-- she laps into lan zhan's mouth, quick and overwhelming. and her teeth, her beautiful teeth, she bites lan zhan's own bottom lip. lan zhan feels it, caught by her.

lan zhan has been caught by her.

wei ying's fingers thread through lan zhan's impossibly long hair, tugging on the knots and snags. and when her hands are free, she takes lan zhan's hands from where they have been resting on wei ying's hips.

she guides them up slowly, under the camisole. over her hips, over her waist. higher and higher, until they get to wei ying's chest.

and wei ying lets go of lan zhan's hands to gather the edges of the camisole into her fingers. she rocks her hips, grinding into lan zhan, as she pulls the thing over her head. and there she is.

she's wearing a piece that lan zhan didn't see in the shop. nude mesh with white stitching. white seams curve over the incredible shape of wei ying's breasts-- supporting them. white lace with eyelash trim scallops at the edge of the cups. a sweet little bow in the bra's gore.

and all over, embroidered are small blue flowers, like stars strewn over the soft skin of wei ying's breast. wei ying in blue and white. lan zhan's colors.

wei ying bites her bottom lip. "do you like it?" she asks.

lan zhan is drowning.
"yes," she manages to say.

wei ying takes lan zhan's left hand into hers. hold it so that her forearm is cradled in the plush valley between wei ying's breasts. she kisses lan zhan's fingertips. she sucks a finger into lan zhan's mouth.

lan zhan's own voice is unfamiliar to her. "wei ying," she moans.

"lan zhan," she answers. "lan zhan can we go to my bed? can i see you? will you take your dress off? will you let me take it off of you?

"yes, yes, yes, yes," lan zhan answers, as wei ying kisses the palm of her hand with her hot, wet mouth. as she settles and grinds into lan zhan's lap. as she leans so that her soft breasts-- as they start to press into her.

wei ying is off of her quick, tugging her up from the couch, pulling her across the apartment and into her bedroom. and wei ying shuts the door and then lan zhan is on her, pressing her against the door, hands in hers, lifting her arms over her head.

wei ying's voice is soft, just little sounds, as lan zhan kisses her. as lan zhan has her-- lan zhan has her, lan zhan is holding her, lan zhan is touching her, lan zhan is kissing her.

"wait, lan zhan," she says. lan zhan stops and looks at her.
"let me see you," she says, "please. it's all i've been able to think about, since the shop. just you."

lan zhan kisses her again, chaste this time. and then she lets go of wei ying's hands and she turns around, pulling her hair over her shoulder.
"unzip me?" she asks.

wei ying steps forward. there's some rustling as she unhooks the hook-and-eye closure. and then the long zzzzzzzip sound of the embedded garment zipper.

and then the release feeling of lan zhan's dress no longer holding her. and then wei ying's warm, soft hands slipping into the case of her dress and wrapping over the soft, warm place of lan zhan's middle and body.

the slightly ticklish feeling of wei ying's bra pressing into parts of lan zhan's back. the press of wei ying's lips into just her bare shoulder. the sound of her inhaling deeply.

"i love your smell, lan zhan," she murmurs, voice very soft and very near. "i always want to be close to you so i can smell you."

lan zhan pulls her dress down over her shoulders and down over her hips. and now she's just in her bra and underwear and garters in wei ying's bedroom.

wei ying takes another deep breath. "let me see you," she whispers.

lan zhan turns around, and wei ying's eyes go huge.
"lan zhan," she says. "you look-- oh my god."

lan zhan is glad she wore the red.

"i didn't have anything red," she says.