Sometimes I don't remember the past due to repression being a good defense mechanism. But sometimes, a memory out of nowhere surfaces and I feel absolutely horrible. Today was one of those days.

Even before I knew the meaning of bullying, I've bullied a friend. Since she and I were the same size when we were young, I used to call her "fatty bum boleh" (a name my mom used to call me)

Sure, I didn't mean no harm, I think. My mom used it as a *joke* (yes I've got issues as an adult, thanks mom) and I thought she'd take it the same way.

Well she didn't. I don't remember if she was furious or upset over the name calling, but suddenly we weren't friends anymore.

I wish I knew her now to apologize. I didn't even realize that I was fat shaming someone and I feel like trash. Idk what I wanted to accomplish by this thread, but it's never okay to call people names.

As adults we need to be extra careful with the words we say because kids are sponges that absorb EVERYTHING. They probably don't know the difference between joking and bullying.

And to that girl I gave a horrible nickname to, I'm sorry.