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Chadwick Boseman's death is a huge loss, in so many ways. Others have said this far more eloquently than me.
The conversation on twitter the past few days about his contributions while undergoing cancer treatment has me feeling, as my friend M would say, "some kinda way."
The conversation on twitter the past few days about his contributions while undergoing cancer treatment has me feeling, as my friend M would say, "some kinda way."
I have metastatic breast cancer. Before that, I had a rare soft tissue cancer (uterine leiomyosarcoma, or ULMS). ULMS treatment included pelvic radiation, which feels like burning up your nether regions, and an impressive series of surgeries that have changed my body forever.
Fast forward 3 yrs after ULMS treatment & I got breast cancer. Yeah, that's some shit luck, but c'est la vie. Was no big deal until the BC returned in my liver 2 yrs after initial treatment. Chemo is no joke, as too many can attest.
For the most part, I worked throughout my treatments, with a few intervals of not working b/c my body was too weak or my mind was too foggy or I was too depressed. I'm lucky in many ways, not least b/c I didn't HAVE to work. I chose to for my own mental health.
But as @neurondidi said, working thru chronic illness shouldn't be romanticized. Lots of people keep working b/c they have to pay the bills, risk losing their jobs if they share the extent of their pain, or otherwise don't have good options.
https://twitter.com/neurondidi/status/1299691126824337416
https://twitter.com/neurondidi/status/1299691126824337416
And as @pre_rad said, there are all kinds of ways that people going thru treatment for cancer or other illnesses are dehumanized. I've experienced this and can only begin to imagine how much more common it is for Black people. https://twitter.com/pre_rad/status/1299682884505284608?s=20
So, once again, this convo has me thinking about all the privileges I have and how they've made my experiences with an objectively lousy health history far less horrible than the same history would be for people who encounter racism, ableism, or trans-phobia in their treatments.
But there's one aspect of the twitter convo that is really catching me up: the discussion about people with cancer as disabled. https://twitter.com/camillard/status/1299630633107566592?s=20
I understand that disability is defined differently by different people. And it's not that I'm feeling any kind of offense at the idea of being considered disabled as someone who's living with cancer. I just genuinely struggle with this 4 myself. Am I disabled b/c I have cancer?
The first time someone broached this with me was just a couple yrs ago; someone who has a chronic illness (not cancer) themselves identified me as disabled b/c of my cancer. I was thrown by that. Seeing the tweets re: Boseman as disabled is making me consider this again.
Clearly, I don't have any answers to this. As @camillard said, we are all learning and language is complicated. I share these thoughts only b/c I'm trying to figure out where I am in this continuum of human experience. I'm still feeling some kinda way. https://twitter.com/camillard/status/1299852836071714818?s=20
I think my biggest concern with this is that--right now, at least--I am able to live my life without many restrictions. So it seems unfair (that's not the best word, but struggling to find right one) to see myself as disabled when others' lives are far more challenging than mine.
What irony, tho! I've always argued against the idea of "competing" traumas. When I've been most sick, and people feared talking about their own sickness or misfortune around me "b/c of what you're going thru," I've pushed back. Trauma is trauma, and mine's not >> yours.
But I digress. This thread wasn't about trauma, but about language, really. And how insufficient it is to capture complex realities about our identities.
