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Remember @Gugu_Fabulous were once stuck in the rain with a dead car battery? Guess who had jumper cables and knew how to jump start a car? Yep... Me 
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I would say its a product of loneliness but I have fixed shower doors and unclogged drains in homes of men who made a home for me. I hate waiting or asking for help and I& #39;m slightly handy so I just do it. I DO NOT LIKE IT AT ALL though. I do it because it must be done https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ" title="Nachdenkliches Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Nachdenkliches Gesicht">
My last car accident, two strangers stopped to help me. I was on the phone and because when I& #39;m stressed I verbalise my thought, I kept going through the list of things I needed to do.
The one guy kept asking why I was calm, did u need anything (he offered me beer even https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="đ€Ł" title="Lachend auf dem Boden rollen" aria-label="Emoji: Lachend auf dem Boden rollen">) and I told him that life has taught me that I need to do what needs to be done and the emotions will come when it& #39;s done. He laughed about driving 100+ ks to change a tire for a friend.
He said when he arrived, the lady had called atleast 6 people to come through and it was a party. I laughted because I definitely would have changed the tyre myself. I once drove over a bottle in Sowetom pulled up into a garage and took my tools out.
The petrol attendents obviously stopped me and did it for me (and I compensated them) but honestly, I was prepared to do it on my own and it was after midnight.
I know all this independence stems from childhood trauma, I know exactly which ones, but I can& #39;t seem to let it go.
I know all this independence stems from childhood trauma, I know exactly which ones, but I can& #39;t seem to let it go.
I always have strangers coming to my aid and I& #39;m forever grateful for my guardian angels and ancestors for constantly trying to show me that they know they failed me previously and try to get me to breathe but whoah it& #39;s hard.
Anyways this mentality is why even what may seem like a frivolous request is life and death to me because I generally don& #39;t ask for anything. Insecurities aside, it& #39;s been a matter of survival to do things on my own and that& #39;s been from primary school
Small intimate thing I meditate on before I reach out. My own mother once said I behave like I& #39;m an orphan sometimes. She was right and I remember how hurt she was when she said this. And I love my mother, most selfless person I know and even though she understands, she struggles
