Joji as your guy best friend: a thread

Here’s the short version of Joji as the protagonist in stories I’ll never write. Enjoy.

1. Boy Next Door

- has been your neighbor forever
- calls you at midnight to go to whatever fast food spot he’s craving
- probably knows more about you than anyone else
- vents to you about his relationship problems
- secretly wanted to ask you to prom but never did

2. The hood rat

- always smells like weed
- hangs out with sketchy people
- has a good heart but head is in the wrong place
- lives off of top ramen and Red Bulls
- always in clothes two sizes too big
- turns into a giant friendly teddy bear when he’s high

3. Cancer crew

- always hanging out with the same two nerdy guys
- you’re probably his only friend that’s a girl
- he talks to you like one of the guys when he’s in front of them but is actually soft when they’re not around - part of who he is bc of his bois

4. Gym rat

- always smells like sweat
- makes you get up at 5am to go for a run
- drinks Gatorade more than water
- sends you snaps of him at the gym at random times of the day
- owns a nice car but walks every fucking where for exercise

5. Day 1

- your most loyal friend
- drops whatever he’s doing to be there for you when you need it
- calls you to make sure you got home safe when y’all hang out
- everyone says y’all should date but you’re too scared to risk losing your best friend
- gives the best advice

6. Fratboy
- always at a party
- drunk atleast five out of seven days of the week
- room is always a mess
- brags about how good cocaine is but has never touched a drug in his life
- tries to hit on you when he’s had too many drinks

7. Business man

- workaholic
- wants to be the CEO of his own company one day
- tweets/shares inspirational quotes about success on his socials every morning
- likes black coffee
- smokes a cig on his lunch break to manage the stress
- takes you out to eat at 5 star places

8. The intellectual

- his fav movie is inception
- always talking about existentialism or his place in the universe
- says weed keeps him enlightened
- makes semi valid points most of the time
- always fighting with someone on Twitter/Facebook

9. Shy boi

- never leaves his house
- wears the same two shirts as long as you’ve known him
- probably playing fortnite or league of legends
- takes two days to text back
- you know more about him than anyone else does

10. Class clown
- always always makes you laugh
- embarrasses you out in public but you don’t mind
- tags you in his fav memes online
- actually uses his humor to mask his insecurities

11. The underground producer

- lives in the studio
- makes beats for other people under an alias
- doesn’t think he’s good enough to make it on his own
- only shares his music with you

12. Flowerboy

- obsessed with planting/gardening
- thinks talking to his plants will help them grow
- tells you about all the dif types of flowers in the park
- only cooks the stuff he grows himself
- sends you progress pics of his plants every week

13. Edgy mf

- always has his hair covering his face
- makes you take a million pics of him for his insta and come up with cryptic captions
- only listens to nirvana
- doesn’t believe in love
- disappears for days at a time with no warning

14. The player

- constantly in and out of relationships
- tendency to cheat bc he gets bored quickly
- you have a crush on him
- he’s smooth af and always gets what he wants
- has 2 phones
- always asking you to cover for him when he needs an alibi

15. The Model

- models for vogue/GQ/ men’s health
- always talking about asian representation will transform the fashion industry
- only owns designer items
- everyone thinks he has a big head but is actually super humble
- flies you out for fashion week in every major city

16. World Traveler

- in a different city/country every week
- always comes back home with crazy stories to tell
- makes friends very easily
- you actually have no idea what he does for a living
- has a perfect Instagram aesthetic