I’m babysitting for my 3 and 5 year old nephews tonight while my brother and his wife got a hotel downtown to treat themselves for her birthday. Over both my noise machine and a tiktok video, I just heard my nephew scream crying.

I rush out to the living room and go upstairs where he’s on the landing still crying but a little quieter now. His foot hurts. How bad does it hurt? He can’t answer that. I ask if he can go back to sleep with it, and before I’m even done asking the question,

he pops back up and walks back to his room. I tell him good night again and he chirps good night back.

I just. What.

This was the 5 year old, by the way.

Earlier tonight his little brother cried hysterically bc I didn’t know about his crocodile spray. Had to call my brother on that one. Apparently he’s become convinced a crocodile that lives in his closet is going to eat him and the only thing that helps is this herbal pillow mist

When I asked my brother why he set me up for failure by not telling me about the mist before he left he basically said that you tend to forget about the traps you lay for yourself.

I love my nephews more than cavemen loved cooked meat but these weekends just tend to drive home how much full time parenting isn’t for me.

They woke me up at 6:20 bc the 5yo was pooping and the 3yo couldn’t wait to pee and just peed where he was standing. On the carpet. Inches away from the tiled bathroom.