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I walked in on Altima holding a marker in one hand and his older sister& #39;s new doll in the other.
Me: "Hey bud, whatcha doing?"
Altima: "Can you leave?"
Me: "I think we both know I can& #39;t do that."
Me: "Hey bud, whatcha doing?"
Altima: "Can you leave?"
Me: "I think we both know I can& #39;t do that."
Thing is, Altima really looks just like me, so I& #39;m instinctively each time like & #39;Altima this is inappropriate behavior& #39; but in my head I& #39;m thinking & #39;They just don& #39;t understand you, you& #39;re not a bad kid, I understand you.& #39;
Brief story. When I was Altima& #39;s age I was put in nursery school. We had nap time and the bathroom was down the hall. I asked to go to the bathroom during nap time. I waited until the teacher assigned to watch the door was looking away, and I bolted like a bat outta hell +
Now you have to understand, this was a very large building/campus--nursery school through eighth grade. I ran down the long hall, down another one, up and down staircases until I reached another wing entirely. I crouched behind a water fountain.
Why there? My mom was substitute teaching in the classroom across from the water fountain. But I didn& #39;t run into her class, I just sat there in hiding. Unfortunately, I was discovered. They dragged me back to the other wing of the building to nursery class. So I plotted
I asked to go to the bathroom again. My permit was denied. I asked again repeatedly until, for some reason, the idiot teachers let me. They were watching the door of the bathroom reaaaal close. But I was like & #39;no way I& #39;m every going back inside.& #39; Operation Shawshank continued.
Eventually the teachers switched places, like a changing of the guard. I saw my opportunity to make them regret ever trusting me, and boom I ran again. They must& #39;ve felt so stupid. Good--I did not respect ppl who underestimated me at that age.
Anyway off I go again, to the same spot in the other wing behind that water fountain. But this time--plot twist! My older sister, who was in kindergarten, came to the water fountain to get a drink. She stands on her toes and suddenly sees her brother crouched behind the fountain.
What does she do? Turn me in? My sister ain& #39;t no narc, even at age 5. So she takes my hand and walks me back to her kindergarten classroom. Tells the teacher, & #39;this is my brother,& #39; and takes me to her desk and seats me right next to her. Once again, much love to big sisters.
I imagine the place was going nuts, and my mom must& #39;ve been soooo mad--she was in the building teaching and they& #39;re like & #39;so here& #39;s the thing, Mrs. Mandel.& #39; Anyway obviously the K teacher alerted the authorities that there was a 3yo refugee in her class and he might be armed.
They told my mom, my mom told my bubby, and bubby showed up at some point to my sister& #39;s classroom asking to take the runaway into her custody. My mom asked her to take me home--or maybe the school wanted me to go home--but either way I was getting out.
What does my bubby do? She does what bubbies everywhere would do in that situation. She takes me to McDonald& #39;s for a happy meal.
Bubbies always have your back.
Bubbies always have your back.
