I'm terrified of death more than anything and days like this aren't great for that. don't think I'll ever get to grips with how cruel and random and entirely unknowable the concept of not living is, but I know the only way I can live with it is to just live

I find some comfort in this thread from earlier this year that puts it better than I ever could. you can't live letting it hang over you. you have to be present https://twitter.com/_Zeets/status/1221646125201006593

all that said I think in the case of someone like Chadwick, the legacy left behind matters. it doesn't make his death justifiable or anything but cruel and we shouldn't live feeling an obligation to leave something so significant behind. but when someone can, it does matter