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I never find old horror movies scary. They always just come off cheesy to me. The Thing and The Exorcist just made me laugh.
You can’t even run your ass down a beach cause you’re so drunk but you gonna try to get into the ocean and swim?
RIP
RIP
Loving the score thus far.
Of course it’s some white girl named Chrissie.
Where does this take place?
Don’t tell me we’re gonna have to spend half this movie thinking Chrissie was killed in a “boating accident” all because Kato Kaelin was too trashed to tell everyone what happened
He looks like Rand Paul https://twitter.com/1realdrumstick/status/1299793197275766786
These skimpy 70s swim trunks are wasted on all these skinny white dudes with chicken legs. What a missed opportunity
I don’t care about all the screaming little brats — just please not the dog

THERES A SHARK! SO LETS HAVE EVERYONE ON THE BEACH RUN INTO THE WATER!
Multiple people are dead from an apparent shark attack
White people: “I hope they don’t close the beaches...”
White people: “I hope they don’t close the beaches...”
LMAO SOMEBODY SAID 24 HOURS IS LIKE THREE WEEKS. IM SCREAMING
Shiiiiit y’all better scrape together a GoFundMe and pay this dude his coins to kill that shark.
Lemme guess. Some of the residents of Amity defy the beach closing order.
I don’t get it. They attached a big piece of meat to a tire and a rope.
....Then what?
....Then what?

Oh.
That’s Richard Dreyfuss?! https://twitter.com/jamestreakle/status/1299802738323316738
Now y’all know that ain’t the right damn shark.
Why do I keep thinking the main dude is the guy from Millennium (the tv show)?
So Hooper is basically the Dr. Fauci of this movie
Just hire somebody to kill the damn shark and get it over with. Y’all stay making dumb decisions
So y’all don’t want to close the beaches because you depend on the tourism. What the fuck you thinks going to happen when word gets out about all these damn people getting killed by sharks on your beach?
LOOK. THE HIPAA LAWS SAY KAREN HAS A RIGHT TO GET HER LEGS CHEWED OFF BY A GREAT WHITE, OK?! https://twitter.com/butmostlyswears/status/1299813144735383554
All this chaos because of a couple of dumbass kids playing games? Some people almost got trampled. Send they ass to juvie.
Omg Brody told the kids to go play in the pond and that’s exactly where the shark is headed
JESUS
Not Quint having all these demands for alcohol and food like he Mariah Carey
“Maybe it’s a marlin or a stingray”
UHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BITCH MOVE
“We’re gonna need a bigger boat, right? How do we handle this? HOW DO WE HANDLE THIS?!”
OMG THE WAY THAT BOAT IS TEETERING BACK AND FORTH
I don’t understand what’s happening now. They shot some barrel into the water and now they’re just sitting around waiting?
Omg the barrel’s movingggggggg
WTF is this song they’re singing? Is this one of those universal white people theme songs like Sweet Caroline?
THE BOAT IS TAKING IN WATER
YOU BITCHES ARE GOING TO CAPSIZE
YOU BITCHES ARE GOING TO CAPSIZE
What was the point of that?
Quint, you’re a psycho.
Wait, I know good and goddamn well Richard Dreyfuss ain’t about to go underwater and swim up to this shark so he can shoot him in the mouth?
Did he just drop the thing he was supposed to stab the shark with?
YOU HAD ONE JOB
Well shit. Bye Quint
At least the city doesn’t have to payout the $3000.
This is the point in the movie where it would be a really good idea to make like E.T. and phone home.
Oh.
Wait.
Oh.
Wait.
YES STAB THE FUCK OUTTA THAT BITCH
“Smile you son of a bitch”
Oh here come Hooper’s goofy ass after Chief Brody already done handled business
I know Chief Brody better take his ass RIGHT BACK to New York after all this shit.
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https://ko-fi.com/notcapnamerica
