I’ve learned a lot from situations that have happened to me personally this year. I think the biggest take away is to trust my intuition. Speak up when it’s talking to me. I allowed people into my life that I shouldn’t have and didn’t speak up when I was feeling hurt.

There was a period where I KNEW what was happening and out of nowhere would be bawling and I ignored it as me being emotional, but now I see that the timeline lines up with when I was being lied to by folks who claim to be caring but paid no mind to my feelings.

Now I’m using my intuition and holding it close to me as I make decisions. I’m working on forgiveness as my intuition tells me it’s time. I have to stop holding grudges and cutting folks out. It’s hard as hell, but I’m trying my hardest.

I thought about Agatha from Paranorman this morning and how much the scene of her and Norman talking meant to me when I first watched it and now as I’m navigating forgiveness. I’m learning not to allow the pain to harden me.

When I say “I’m learning”, I mean that. I’m not there yet at all. I have moments where I think about the pain I felt in the earlier part of the year and start to make a plan to hurt those who hurt me and remember that it would only hurt myself as well.

Cutting someone out because I know it would hurt them would only hurt myself. I know that and it’s why I’m working on forgiveness. I don’t let things go ever. I feel Agatha’s frustration and anger.

Here’s to fighting my pride and my pain to live a happier life.

And as I read back over this thread, it’s important to point out how I wrote “people who claim to be caring” to describe the folks who hurt me. They are caring. They weren’t in those moments. I know this but the anger is still there and it comes out with little jabs sometimes.

I have a lot left to learn and parts of me I need to heal that I’ve yet to realize. I want to grow.