We all think we’re great communicators because we feel like expressing our thoughts + feelings and having a conversation is what communication is about.

Communication is also about your choice of words, tone, how + WHEN you respond, and understanding. Sarcasm, being condescending, having smart answers instead of using empathy is all ego based and contributes nothing to communication. THATS where a lot of people fuck up at.

Being smart or having a logical response is not an indicator of having good communication. Being right also doesn’t mean how ever you communicate your perspective is effective. Did you understand what you were responding to or the situation at hand? If so how do you know?

Did you ask for clarification or just respond based off of what you think you heard/read/. Did you digest the information before you responded or did you start thinking of your response before the statement was even completed? All of this is important when communicating.

Although feelings aren’t facts, facts don’t negate feelings. You can genuinely not intend to make someone feel a way, that doesn’t mean their feelings aren’t valid.

This is something that I’ve been actively working on when it comes to my communication. (It’s hard work)

If I made someone feel a way I ask what I did to made them feel that way, how long have they felt that way, etc. I’ll acknowledge/validate their feelings and try to understand what led to that before I explain my reasoning. I’m gonna always explain my feelings though.

Explanations are a necessary component when it comes to effective communication. I’ve noticed that a lot of people think explaining = excuses. There is a difference between an excuse and an explanation. Explaintions tend to lead to arguments because ppl deadass don’t care why...

Something happened, they only care that it happened and that they feel a way. Once a person starts explaining why something happens the other party takes it as their feelings being invalided.... (ego again) now BOOM argument lol. Explanations are not excuses.

An explanation is designed to give someone all of the facts, and lay out the cause for something. An excuse is designed to push the fault for that thing away from oneself. EXPLANATIONS are necessary because without knowing the cause for something that something will continue.

I say that to say.. life is short. Let the people you care about know, hug your loved ones, live life to the fullest, work on being your best self.. we all have room for improvement.