International air travel in the pandemic was, ah, interesting. I hope never to have to do it again. TL;DR the US (well, NY State) are more aggressive than Germany in mask compliance, traveler tracing and providing easy-to-understand information and instructions. 1/21

Getting permission for Americans to depart EWR for the EU (we had one of the exceptions permitting it) was challenging, but took about an hour. The flight out was business class and everything pretty much as usual on an uncrowded business class flight, but with masks. 2/21

Arrival in Germany was easy. We'd done two tests, both negative, one seven days and one 24 hours before departure, and had the results. German immigration was concerned as to why an American was entering (but, again, we had proper documentation). 3/21

There were clear instructions to contact the regional authorities where we stayed and to quarantine, but quarantine is waived for those with negative tests w/in 24 hours of arrival. We think. The interesting thing...4/21

...No one took our temperature, or asked whether we felt ill. In Germany, one is expected to be a decent, grown up person and report such things because, come on, that is of course what sentient, non-narcissistic adults in a decent society do. Basta. 5/21

We noticed on the first day that mask compliance was getting really bad. Like, Arizona, "Don't tell me what to do" bad. My first morning in Munich, crossing a bridge over the Isar, I looked south and saw spring-break caliber crowds on the shore sunbathing, maskless 6/21

Local newspapers shouted about increases and consideration of bans of alcohol, but on the streets we saw, unscientifically and anecdotally speaking, about 50% compliance. The next day, ~20K, aggressive anti-maskers held a massive rally in Berlin ... 7/21

In Chiemsee, we went masked into a clothing store whose odiferous, corpulent, arrogant, and illegally maskless proprietor accosted us with, "Oh, yes, by all means, keep wearing those stupid masks. You know they're proved scientifically to have no benefit, right?" 8/21

NY is great with SMS-based tracing; Germany is FANTASTIC at old fashioned contact tracing. At every restaurant, cafe and many businesses (not food shops), you're asked to fill in contact forms (name/phone/time/date) which the business keeps for two weeks. 9/21

The flight home was shockingly awful. @Lufthansa claimed to "sanitise" the plane; to have taken "strong steps" to encourage social distancing. PAH! The economy cabin, about 30% full, was managed so ineptly I can't even fathom how Lufthansa could claim to be run by Germans 10/21

Everything seemed done to save @Lufthansa the most money (we each paid $1800 for an economy ticket). Yet, the ways they chose to save were arbitrary, inexplicably stupid and ineffectual. As sad as flying in the Yuk Yuk Comedy Club at a Des Moines Ramada Inn...11/21

In a 30%-full coach cabin @Lufthansa bunched us in a pack like an unpopular professor asks everyone to move to the front: with at least 15 empty 3-5-3 rows, they put someone in the 3 row next to my wife and me, and people behind, in front, and to the right of us. 12/21

"Sanitised" my ass, @Lufthansa: seatbacks and tray tables were FILTHY, caked with dried soda and foodstuff. All your savings were pyrrhic: everyone spread to the empty rows, using all the blankets and pillows in those rows to stretch out, eliminating any savings. Good. 13/21

The "meal" in economy ("because of the pandemic"): Pasta with wild garlic - Seriously? Next time, add baked beans and Limburger cheese on a 9-hour flight to help the cabin air. Weird: in business class there was a meal choice. Despite the pandemic. Strange. 14/21

Back in the brig^W^W coach, we detainees seized all the sanitizing wipes to scrub our seats and area, so later the cleaning crews had to remove huge mounds of litter and waste, again destroying any @Lufthansa "savings" from failure to clean. Good. 15/21

This parsimony was absent in the spotless, gemütlich business class. @Lufthansa assured us repeatedly their avarice was in fact for our safety "because of COVID," which is disgustingly cynical but @Lufthansa suffers far more than we did because we all hate them forever. 16/21

Most surprising were the US forms and procedures. Pre-landing we were given a questionnaire about our health and where we'd traveled. At EWR, a group of public health officials met the plane and QUICKLY interviewed every passenger old enough to answer 17/21

The line went faster than usual even though Global Entry was suspended. Every person was temperature checked prior to passport control. @NYCHealthy officials efficiently reviewed the questionnaire again, asked specific questions, and gave specific information 18/21

Thrice we were instructed to stay home for 14 days, and to report any symptoms to health officials or seek medical care. We got a clear, multilingual instruction card. The only a**hole in the whole process was the surly, rude, hungover slob of a @CBP agent. Prick. 19/21

In sum: @Lufthansa was repugnant; German authorities friendly, reasonable, and expect you to be a grown-up; Germans'll do it but they're, like, SO done with the masks; US screening was a delightful surprise - efficient and thorough, taken seriously; low traveler volume. 20/21

.@HealthyNYGov and @NYCHealthy contact tracing reached out the day after arrival with phone calls, SMS, and emails (the latter of which revealed unencrypted PII). Each day I receive a text asking if I have symptoms and counting days of quarantine remaining. Today it's one. 21/21