I have one thing to say directly to my able-bodied friends about the passing of Chad Bosewick, and it is:

Do not, for one hot second, romanticize him working through cancer and keeping it quiet. Don't do it. 1/

The reason that those of us who are living with terminal illnesses, disabilities, life-threatening illnesses often keep it quiet is because to disclose means losing work, being pitied, being treated as though we don't know what we want or our own bodies. 2/

Please realize that you're not talking to him or his family right now, & your words will likely never reach their ears. You are, however, speaking where your disabled friends, your friends and family living with cancer, your chronically ill friends, can hear you. 3/

Don't romanticize the blunt reality of our lives, please, and the discrimination that we face ongoing.

Disabled people face profound discrimination and ableism in our working lives. I founded NerdyKeppie because I love it, but I couldn't work in the corporate world again. 4/

I've already seen many, many, many threads and tweets and the like romanticizing the 'strength' and 'inspiration' and so on of working through cancer, and the 'inspiring strength' of keeping it quiet, and I just... can't. Don't do that. Please. Don't do that. 5/

I cannot speak to, and will not speak over, the profound loss that people feel at his passing, especially my Black friends (& my Black disabled friends who are feeling a double whammy that they weren't expecting). His passing is a profound and unspeakable loss, & we grieve. 6/

Please be mindful in the things you say, and the grief you express, that you do not, in your grief, hurt those of us who are still here, talking with you, reading the things you say.

We hear the way you talk about us. 7/7

Addendum: I was really tired last night and completely had an aphasia moment with the proper name at the start of this tweet thread. I can't fix it now. I'm sorry.

It's kind of horrifying that Twitter won't let me go back and fix fucking up someone's name, but here we are.