This is sending me because I really went from “I can’t squirt” to squirting seven times in one sexual encounter.

(We slept on the floor.) https://twitter.com/ozzyetomi/status/1299423409219211268

This babe really fell asleep with her face between my thighs. And woke me up 2 hours later with tongue push-ups. I literally lost my voice calling on Jesus. Poor guy was just trying to mind his business on a Friday night.

I never went back because it’s not me that somebody will kill.

Someone that removed her clothes only to don the spirit of wickedness immediately. Off cloth, turn evil spirit. Looked me dead in the eye and said, “Spread.”

Me: