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I feel so much sorrow but not for myself or any one person, these days I could never presume to feel as deeply or the same as any other person, but I feel like I've been walking on eggshells for months. It feels pathetic, being pushed past the tipping point, by a celebrity death.
These days I'm an easy crier. Finding pieces of myself and my experiences with others, empathizing with the most innocuous of words--it feels like my soul has been slow-roasted on a spit for months as I've been processing and managing the day-to-day. I just want everyone I know--
to be safe. If by chance things turn for the worse, I want you to know that I care and I want for nothing but things to begin looking up, and fortune begin to shine your way. It's really beyond exhausting living this year. But living means to have the hope for a tomorrow.
Cancer, Dementia, Depression, Cardiac Arrest; I've been impacted by family and close ones leaving prematurely from multiple causes and every single time. I go through the motions. Memento Mori. I've also gone through suicidal ideation because and before it.
If you take anything from me or from this thread I want it to be--especially if you're in my age range, but also who fucking cares about numbers at that point--that there is a lot more to experience beyond the terrible. We live in an era of interconnection, and someone has likely
--gone through what you have. Whether it's venting or physically being able to speak/hash things out, if you have access to internet you have options available. If hyperawareness is an issue, disconnecting is also an option. You exist. You're important. Self-preservation is valid
I won't say be responsible because I'm among the least qualified to ask. Just do what you can. You have people who care about you; you should live in a way that lets you thrive. You owe it to yourself. Life is ephemeral, but permanent. The marks you leave on others last forever.
