Y’all, I seriously think there is something wrong with me. I feel like I’m on the outside of something, or like I know things other people don’t know. I feel like I have a 30 year old brain inside of a teenage body with all of the emotions.
But I’m bad at distinguishing and addressing the emotions, so I misplace them and misunderstand them and confuse them for so many different things that I just end up shoving them under the rug.
There was a straight time period where I believed whole-heartedly I was depressed, and sometimes I still think I am. But I know that self diagnosing is almost always wrong. What if I’m wrong and I’m just saying that I have depression to say it?
I mean...I know for a fact that I think really bad thoughts sometimes but I just feel like it’s not normal to shit talk myself in my head? Is it? Is it just me being like really insecure or what? I’m confused.
Like, It’s so weird I can take my feelings and turn them off? Like I can take them and shove them off to the side and at this point it’s kind of impulse to ignore them and do what is morally correct. I feel so numb?
Like when I see sad videos I’ll skip them, then go back and watch them because it’s not right to skip a video of a person who is asking for help? When did I become so detached that I had to force myself to feel remorse or empathy for someone?
This is a VERY long thread, and I appreciate it if you read it all. And I would really appreciate if you helped me out, I just need to make sure it’s not just me who feels this way. Is this an issue or is it just my personality?
Just re-read this thread, it’s bold of me to post this online. Like this is my internal thoughts on display.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😬" title="Grimasse schneidendes Gesicht" aria-label="Emoji: Grimasse schneidendes Gesicht"> Ight, you got five hours to respond then I’m deleting this.