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alright let& #39;s talk about rejection sensitivity dysphoria and parasocial relationships (a thread) 1/?
so! i have RSD. it& #39;s a particularly vicious aspect of my adhd bc it sends me into a tailspin everytime. one of my big RSD symptoms is panic attacks. sucks.
sometimes my RSD is triggered by people i have a parasocial relationship to and here& #39;s why that sucks more than normal 2/?
sometimes my RSD is triggered by people i have a parasocial relationship to and here& #39;s why that sucks more than normal 2/?
when my RSD is triggered by loved ones i have an easier time convincing myself that what i& #39;m feeling is irrational. i KNOW that they love me and care about me even if that& #39;s not what i& #39;m feeling at the time.
the thing with parasocial relationships is that assurance isn& #39;t there.
the thing with parasocial relationships is that assurance isn& #39;t there.
and it shouldn& #39;t be!! parasocial relationships should be distanced!! frankly, content creators SHOULDN& #39;T care about and love me. there& #39;s a distance that is necessary there.
i don& #39;t WANT to be that close to content creators i truly ADMIRE. i need that distance so i can enjoy their content.
this might not be true for everyone but it& #39;s true for me. 5/?
this might not be true for everyone but it& #39;s true for me. 5/?
SO the thing about RSD is that, at least for me, when it& #39;s triggered it& #39;s Devastating.
when it& #39;s triggered by a content creator i have a parasocial relationship with? it& #39;s somehow worse. 6/?
when it& #39;s triggered by a content creator i have a parasocial relationship with? it& #39;s somehow worse. 6/?
KEEP IN MIND:
this is no one& #39;s fault. RSD is about MY perceptions and MY perceived rejections. in no way is the content creator at fault. i want that stressed so badly. 7/?
this is no one& #39;s fault. RSD is about MY perceptions and MY perceived rejections. in no way is the content creator at fault. i want that stressed so badly. 7/?
BUT. when a content creator triggers (and i don& #39;t use the word trigger lightly) my RSD i run through a gamut of brain bullshit.
it& #39;s usually like this: a person i have a parasocial relationship with makes fun of something i care about/worry about. 8/?
it& #39;s usually like this: a person i have a parasocial relationship with makes fun of something i care about/worry about. 8/?
my brain interprets that mocking as a personal rejection even though it is so clearly and rationally NOT.
my brain is convinced that i am bad or wrong or cringy or dirty or hated. 9/?
my brain is convinced that i am bad or wrong or cringy or dirty or hated. 9/?
once again NONE of this is personal. the content creator has done NOTHING wrong. they& #39;ve expressed an opinion. i CANNOT fault them that!! 10/?
the thing that SUCKS is that i& #39;m so convinced that this person, who does not know me, who i don& #39;t actually know, who should not impact my opinion of myself, HATES me that i then become convinced that i can no longer interact with their content. 11/?
this is IRRATIONAL. i KNOW it is. the argument that it& #39;s irrational usually makes me feel worse!!!
keep in mind that i& #39;m usually coming to these conclusions while having a complete crying, on the verge of a panic attack, meltdown. 12/?
keep in mind that i& #39;m usually coming to these conclusions while having a complete crying, on the verge of a panic attack, meltdown. 12/?
this has happened untold times to me across so many media platforms. there are podcasters, vloggers, writers, and artists who have no idea who i am.
my brain is convinced that they hate me and bc "they hate me" i& #39;m convinced that i& #39;m not allowed to interact with their content.
my brain is convinced that they hate me and bc "they hate me" i& #39;m convinced that i& #39;m not allowed to interact with their content.
it sucks!! no one is at fault!!
i& #39;m not sure i have anything smart to wrap this up i just think it sucks and it& #39;s kind of interesting that parasocial relationships both exacerbate (at least my) RSD and also MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE about why it can be taken so personally. 14/14
i& #39;m not sure i have anything smart to wrap this up i just think it sucks and it& #39;s kind of interesting that parasocial relationships both exacerbate (at least my) RSD and also MAKE NO FUCKING SENSE about why it can be taken so personally. 14/14
wait another thing. this isn& #39;t to say i can& #39;t become friends with ppl who create content!! i love my friends who create content. there& #39;s a difference tho between that and Content Creators. i hope that makes sense ugh 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😓" title="Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😓" title="Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß" aria-label="Emoji: Gesicht mit kaltem Schweiß"> 15/14
