It’s hard to grasp the fact that I will spend the rest of my life constantly feeling every feeling so deeply without a break. I’ve never not felt everything to a sickening level & I don’t think I’ll ever be met with the same rawness or that it’s even healthy if I did. It’s lonely

It’s very lonely to be the person who always feels. Always too deeply. Too often. Too loudly. I don’t ever feel like there’s a time where I don’t feel like I’m being suffocated by how much I care about everything all of the time. I’m the one who cares most for everything

I’m hyper aware of everyone else’s feelings and problems and I’m also hyper aware of how much of a burden I probably am to be around because I’m constantly feeling and reacting and needing someone to ground me and tell me that I’m not all of the horrible feelings I have in me

I just know that I wear on people. And that even when I have valid feelings I still feel guilty for having them and expressing them because I know how I always toe the line of being too much. I don’t know how to just let feelings pass without consuming me. It’s probably annoying

Anyway that’s just how the cookie crumbles my dudes and that concludes my pity party for the night. Tune in later for round two probably in 4 minutes idk it’s a surprise