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Alain Resnais: You started something along with your friends at the same time, and are silently fuming that you're talked about the least
Baz Lurhmann: You love to suggest ideas of increasingly questionable taste
Jane Campion: People were with you until you got weirder
Ingmar Bergman: Every day you find a new reason to be depressed
Todd Haynes: Straight people are more comfortable with your sexual orientation, than your interest in classic film
Kenneth Branagh: When theater kids transition into directing
Godfrey Reggio: You listen to the Philip Glass scores more times than you have actually watched this guy's movies
Richard Linklater: You spend your days forlorn over meeting women while watching Seinfeld episodes
John Cassavetes: You. Are. A. Wife Guy.
Michael Haneke: You are pretentious, but you're also surrounded by idiots who make your existence seem reasonable
Hideaki Anno: You think your depression and mental health issues will lead you to create great art
Francois Truffaut: You consider vulgar auteurism on letterboxd to be the modern day Cahiers du Cinema
