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im gonna make a thread about how to make a solid apology since i see a lot of other neurodivergent people struggle with it.
i have had a lot of practice over the years so trust me when i say this is all (mostly) correct
i have had a lot of practice over the years so trust me when i say this is all (mostly) correct
first things first is to determine if ur actually in the wrong or just succumbing to peer pressure. did you do something that could actually be seen as hurtful, or were you doing what was right?
additionally dont bother making an apology if u don't actually mean it
additionally dont bother making an apology if u don't actually mean it
the most important thing to stress is an apology is NOT about YOU. it's about the people you're giving it to. i know a LOT of people try to explain their thought process and such and why they acted the way they did, but this just comes off as excuses from what i've learned
so avoid that entirely. no one cares about why you did it, just that you did it. as much as u might want to explain your intentions it will do you no good!!
another thing to avoid is self-depreciating language, such as i'm so sorry i'm a bad person, etc. that's guilt tripping
another thing to avoid is self-depreciating language, such as i'm so sorry i'm a bad person, etc. that's guilt tripping
now for an example of a good solid apology. let's say i accidentally hurt my friends feelings, maybe i went too far with a joke or during an argument. here's what i would say:
i'm really sorry i hurt you (maybe expand more on what you did and why it was wrong to do), it was not at all intentional. in the future i'll try my best to be more cautious of what i say and how i say it, so this doesn't happen again.
very important part: do NOT make an apology expecting to be forgiven. once again the apology is not for you, it's for the other party involved. it's up to them whether forgiveness is possible, and sometimes it's just not. and that's okay.
you can rest easy knowing that you apologized effectively and did all that was possible to ease the wounds you caused, which is ALWAYS the goal of an apology. don't stray from that goal
i know apologizing can be hard because maybe it's embarrassing to admit you're wrong, maybe you've got a bit of an ego or a prideful streak, but at the end of the day being stubborn just isn't worth it. suck it up and apologize
last of all make an actual effort to change, because your apologies will become empty over time if you keep making the same mistakes.
that's all i can think of right now, if i'm missing anything, i'm sure i'll remember it in a few fuckin hours or so
that's all i can think of right now, if i'm missing anything, i'm sure i'll remember it in a few fuckin hours or so
