Happy Friday! We figured we'd treat you to some of the fun things @tribpub's representative said at the bargaining table today.

On leaving if your mom dies during the workday: "We would expect the employee would use paid time off."

Because it's a vacation to grieve a loved one.

On letting us know if the company is hiring:

"You want every single role to be posted. We're not agreeable to that."

Why?

Because the company is committed to increasing diversity and if they publicly post positions....it might...bar the company from hiring diverse candidates??

On whether the company would be willing to let employees know if there's a preferred candidate:

"There's no reason for us to make the commitment to it."

Why?

"We might not be able to commit to doing that every time."

So because corporate is dysfunctional, we suffer? K.

On why we can't permit religious minorities to swap company holidays for important observances:

"We do not see that as a solution to this important issue...Some people, its extremely important to take their children to college. Maybe as important as a holiday to someone else."

On the inequity of giving Christians Christmas off, but not say, Jewish employees Yom Kippur off:

"It's not inequitable. It's a single religious holiday."

On whether new parents deserves time to be with their baby:

"We are willing to give the guild the same as other employees."

Which is...nothing. The company currently gives no paid family leave.

So, to recap:

-Tribune doesn’t care if you’re grieving

-Tribune doesn’t care if you’re Jewish, Muslim or anything but Christian

-Tribune doesn’t care if you’ve just had a child

-Tribune doesn’t care to commit to recruiting diverse job candidates

Good we know where we stand.