i appreciate that Epic Games are having a difficult day but my stolen car was just found in Union City full of meth.

*phones cop*

"hey again, so I found a bunch of "illegal material" in this car...do you guys have to come back, or can I just toss it?"

cop; what kind of illegal material?

me; ...I think it& #39;s meth?

cop; we& #39;re coming back. don& #39;t touch it.

the car was gone for 6 weeks and had been abandoned there for about 3. rear seats & trunk loaded with tools for break-ins. rear of the car all kinds of smashed up. insurance already paid out so it& #39;s getting towed next week. at least I know it had a fun retirement https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🪦" title="Headstone" aria-label="Emoji: Headstone">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🍺" title="Bierkrug" aria-label="Emoji: Bierkrug">

....okay, fukin hell.

so I decided to search methcar for any of my personal items before the tow truck comes and...I’m pretty sure this isn’t mine?

just found a variety of knives and walkie talkies but nothing to top the very large dildo. Forgot to mention at one stage the cop was emptying evidence and said “hey, are these yours?” while holding a pair of brass knuckles. No mam, those are not my illegal melee weapons.