I've been slowly growing less and less comfortable with nonbinary as a gender descriptor. Note: this doesn't mean my gender experience has changed, but that I'm feeling that it's not a productive or useful word.

Nonbinary describes a set of marginalized gender experiences only in relation to the status quo. This makes it ineffective in dismantling the status quo, just liike "nonwhite" is not a helpful term for people of color.

I think it also particularly aids in erasing modes and experiences of gender from cultures that already don't follow the binary model of most white, Western cultures.

(Thanks @sjw_LauraKinney for helping me figure that out earlier today)

It also fails to put forward a model for gender diversity that is centered on what diverse genders look like, rather than what they don't.

Like with any other LGBTQ+ words, this is not me telling you that if it's a word that is helpful for you that that's a problem. Just explaining why it's no longer helpful for me and why I'm going to be divesting from it as a word I use to identify myself.

Words I am still comfortable with: agender, genderqueer, or gender divergent. Looking around for other, more affirmative language to describe my relationship to and experience with gender. Would love to hear from other folks about language that works for you.