Moment of vulnerability. Growing up I was #raped and #molested by my older cousin from the age of 7-11 . At 13 I told my family and like most southern church families I was silenced . I was told to pray and let god heal my wounds . I did just that and still no healing

In My earliest memories living in a #singleparent home my mom forced to go to my aunts . I cried and begged her to let me stay at her salon but no . Their where so many signs that something wasn’t right but because I was #gay nobody cared to pay attention to me or my well-being

By the age of 13 I had been #raped #beaten and #abused #mentally #physically #spiritually and #emotionally by my own family I tried so hard to just pray the #gay away . My mom told me that “I was the reason she doesn’t love me “ and my dad was absent from my life by this time

At the age of 18 my mom wanted to kill me I felt that she hated me . Nothing I ever did was good enough and none of my prayed to God had been answered I still wasn’t cured of my gayness and the church made sure to remind me of the abomination I was every Sunday

I prayed and asked god “please help me hate my mom “ but after all the abuse my love for her was always unconditional . Something in me (my higher self ) spoke to me and said . “ you where born to show her what true unconditional love is. And instantly I felt a shift in me

At this point I have been #homeless off and on since the age of 16 my mom kicked me out because I was gay of course. My self worth and identity has been shatter into pieces By this time from all the #trauma I started to suffer from #Bruxism and didn’t have. insurance or resources

I was so depressed . I didn’t even want to live anymore . The people who I love hate me . I’m fat and I just felt useless . Church couldnt heal me I tried everything my mom even tried to send me to shock therapy . I get sad even thinking about that time

I was sitting at my moms shop I’m now a junior in highschool and she was telling her client that she gave up on me and was giving me to GOD and that she couldnt deal with my gay shit and idk why but in my depressed state . Face full of tease and heart broken I said out loud

FUCK THIS !!. She turned around and started punching me in my face and cussing me out . At this point she was in rage . I just couldn’t take the abuse anymore . I walked out her salon and she followed cussin and hitting me I just didn’t care about life anymore I wanted to die

It’s 11 pm at night I had nowhere to go but I knew I couldn’t go back home anymore . I had nothing and no one to depend on . I thank spirit for not allowing me to fall into addiction and drugs because I would have been dead by now .

It’s important for me to talk about this because people need to see how their actions can effect someone . Me and my mom have started our #healing journeys . I have forgiven her and am actively working on healing myself and our #relationships . So don’t get mad to quick

Moral of this story we have to start speaking up against #abuse and stepping in when we can . It’s not easy being #black and #gay . I’m guilty for not using my voice and platform but that changes today . My coming out will be dropping soon stay tuned #healing

To the #parent #chruchs #leaders and #teachers who don’t understand the #LGBTQ lifestyle take a few seconds out of your day to listen . I wish my mom would understand this #prayersforbobby