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oh no i wanna write a few slice-of-life horror comic pages about some people working inside of a haunted Spirit Halloween shop
they've been working at the same Spirit location for the last five years and have, inherently, been dealing with the same GHOSTS for the last five years. their rapport is irritated but largely affectionate
employee: hey could somebody toss me that case of liquid latex over there?
case of liquid latex: *floats over*
employee: hey, thanks beelz!
case of liquid latex: *floats over*
employee: hey, thanks beelz!
customer: someone made a spelling mistake on your window decorations. the red paint says "i'm coming for you're soul" instead of "your soul"
employee: that's not paint
customer: huh?
employee: that's blood
customer: huh?
employee: he just does this sometimes
customer: HUH?!
employee: that's not paint
customer: huh?
employee: that's blood
customer: huh?
employee: he just does this sometimes
customer: HUH?!
employee: ma'am could you please quiet your kid down? our hell hound is napping right now-
baby: *begins wailing*
hell hound in the back room: *begins howling*
baby: *begins wailing*
hell hound in the back room: *begins howling*
employee 1: what do you think it's supposed to be?
employee 2: i dunno but i don't like it
ghost who's made a mess of the fucking bathrooms yet again: WHO DARES NAVIGATE MY TOILET PAPER MAZE? CAN YOU FIND THE PRIZE AT THE END? CAN YOU- STOP CLEANING I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS
employee 2: i dunno but i don't like it
ghost who's made a mess of the fucking bathrooms yet again: WHO DARES NAVIGATE MY TOILET PAPER MAZE? CAN YOU FIND THE PRIZE AT THE END? CAN YOU- STOP CLEANING I WORKED REALLY HARD ON THIS
employee 1: ewwww, where did all these fruit flies come from?!
employee 2: wasn't me! i just bought those bananas in yesterday-
beelzebub: *buzzing in the corner, lights flickering, flies swarming*
entire cast in classic sitcom fashion: hahahahah, beelzebub!
employee 2: wasn't me! i just bought those bananas in yesterday-
beelzebub: *buzzing in the corner, lights flickering, flies swarming*
entire cast in classic sitcom fashion: hahahahah, beelzebub!
employee: *eating alone in the break room, flipping through his phone*
tv in the break room: *lights up and begins buzzing with static*
employee: can we not today my boyfriend just broke up with me
tv: *dims a little, buzz lowering to a soft hum*
employee: thanks bud
tv in the break room: *lights up and begins buzzing with static*
employee: can we not today my boyfriend just broke up with me
tv: *dims a little, buzz lowering to a soft hum*
employee: thanks bud
employee: sir, what do i do if the hell hound bites me?
manager: i raised that dog myself; he'd never harm a sou-
employee: *holds up her forearm, which is gushing blood*
manager: ugh fine i'll call another ambulance
manager: i raised that dog myself; he'd never harm a sou-
employee: *holds up her forearm, which is gushing blood*
manager: ugh fine i'll call another ambulance
customer: excuse me, but that motion-detecting witch decoration just said my name and told me she's my late mother
employee: woah, you're MARGOT'S KID? HOLY SHIT SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU
employee: woah, you're MARGOT'S KID? HOLY SHIT SHE TALKS ABOUT YOU ALL THE TIME IT'S SO NICE TO MEET YOU
employee: sir, your hell hound ate another customer
manager: god fucking damnit
employee: i think you should take the hell hound off his diet, sir
manager: but he was getting so fat
employee: he's eating customers. plural
manager: but he's gonna get so faaaaaaaaaat UGH
manager: god fucking damnit
employee: i think you should take the hell hound off his diet, sir
manager: but he was getting so fat
employee: he's eating customers. plural
manager: but he's gonna get so faaaaaaaaaat UGH
i'm in trouble because i added some continuity and reoccurring characters in these tweets and now i'm emotionally attached GODDAMNIT
new employee: hey everybody! i'm really excited to spend this season working with y'all!
store: *lights flicker on and off, doors slam open and shut in a cacophony of sound and chaos*
employee 1: awwwww, the store's excited to have you here too!
new employee: ................
store: *lights flicker on and off, doors slam open and shut in a cacophony of sound and chaos*
employee 1: awwwww, the store's excited to have you here too!
new employee: ................
customer: hmm i wonder if chad would consider this costume too slutty...
possessed decoration nearby: FUCK CHAD AND EVERYONE ELSE IT'S YOUR BODY WEAR WHAT YOU WANT ASK YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN OPINIONS NOT THOSE OF SOME SHITTY BOY
customer: ....
nearby employee: he's right y'know
possessed decoration nearby: FUCK CHAD AND EVERYONE ELSE IT'S YOUR BODY WEAR WHAT YOU WANT ASK YOURSELF FOR YOUR OWN OPINIONS NOT THOSE OF SOME SHITTY BOY
customer: ....
nearby employee: he's right y'know
customer: do you have more of these in the back?
employee: that's the last of our stock
customer: could you go check?
employee: *calls back room on phone and asks*
phone: *furious growling, air blowing from receiver, spittle flying*
employee: he says go fuck yourself
employee: that's the last of our stock
customer: could you go check?
employee: *calls back room on phone and asks*
phone: *furious growling, air blowing from receiver, spittle flying*
employee: he says go fuck yourself
i think it would be cool to use this space to explore retail employees finally speaking their mind. your haunted surroundings are already so bonkers, customers are gonna flip. employees responding appropriately to shitty people suddenly feels tame, considering the setting
