I have a complicated relationship with motherhood. My own relationship with my mother is complicated, as I’m sure most people are with their parents.

I always wanted to be a mother, part of me still does. But it’s not an opportunity I’ve ever had and likely will not 1/

And almost certainly not biologically if so.

I’ve nothing against those who choose to be childless; but it was never a choice I made for myself, it’s simply what is.

and it’s so hard to be 41, and married, and to never have children, to always be questioned about it

2/

Because people will question, and seem to feel they have the right to know why or why not, and oh if you want kids well have you done or thought x, y or z?

I have, I assure you.

3/

Not 100% sure where I’m going with this exactly except that to assume that every 40 year old has the same experience or is a mother is false.

I’m in a far different place at 41 than my parents were. I still struggle to keep my head above water some days.

4/

And fandom is where I’ve found my home and my family. Some of my friends are young enough that I could, hypothetically, be their parent. Some of my friends are old enough to be, hypothetically, be *my* parent.

5/

Fandom is beautiful and amazing blending of people from many ages, backgrounds, genders and expresions. And I wouldn’t change it for anything.

I’ve learned so much from the people around me.

6/

So please don’t assume that jsut because i’m 41 that i’m old or that i’m a mother, because neither is true.

And no one is too old for fandom or the joy that it can bring.

7/

If you’ve made it through my little ramble, thank you, and i’m glad you’re here.

End/