Well... while I'm complaining and being a bitch on the TL I'll say this.

IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND THE BASIC RULES AND PRACTICES OF BDSM DON'T FUCKING WRITE IT!

Some people don't do any research and it shows. I have seen so much abuse hidden behind the excuse of D/s +

relationships and I can't even tell you how inaccurate that is.

The ONE THING that is always TANTAMOUNT in any power-dynamic based relationship is PRIOR CONSENT and strict adherence to the rules that were set up BEFOREHAND.

I once saw a fic where JM was denied aftercare bc +

he used his safeword and was told he had to "earn it" which is the most disgusting and abusive thing I've ever seen.

AFTERCARE IS NOT OPTIONAL! YOU DO NOT "EARN" AFTERCARE. THAT IS SOMETHING YOU ARE PROVIDED NO MATTER WHAT.

There seems to be a misconception that a Dom wants +

to hurt their Sub partner, which is the farthest thing from accurate that could be said.

In a proper D/s dynamic, NO ONE ON EARTH cares more about that Submissive than their Dominant. Period. Ever.

The wellbeing and experience of the Submissive partner are that +

Dom's WHOLE WORLD in those times. And there should never be a time when they are causing pain just for the sake of pain. It should always be because it's what their Sub needs and wants.

The Dominant is never truly the one in charge and so many people fail to see that. +

The Submissive holds all the power in a D/s relationship. Yes, they hand over their control to the Dominant because it's what they need. And it's the job of that Dom to exercise that control and provide the Sub the release they need, emotional, mental or physical. +

Yes, the Dominant also gets a release from that too, but it's not in hurting their partner. It's about taking care of their needs and yes, sometimes that does mean hurting them.

But NEVER EVER EVER abusing them.

End of rant.