
THREAD...
4/ Build personas for key stakeholders
Invest in long-term relationships.
You'll better understand their mindset and expectations.
Invest in long-term relationships.
You'll better understand their mindset and expectations.
7/ If there’s tension, call it out
Here's a template:
“I sense some tension here and I’m hopeful we'll get through this as a team. I’m feeling […] — I’d love to hear what you’re feeling and thinking about.”

“I sense some tension here and I’m hopeful we'll get through this as a team. I’m feeling […] — I’d love to hear what you’re feeling and thinking about.”
8/ Avoid the past tense
Past actions can't be changed.
Arguments in the past tense are more likely to dissolve into blaming and emotions.
Use present and future tense instead.
Past actions can't be changed.
Arguments in the past tense are more likely to dissolve into blaming and emotions.
Use present and future tense instead.
9/ Involve people early
To avoid surprises, involve people early on big decisions like org changes or performance problems.
To avoid surprises, involve people early on big decisions like org changes or performance problems.
10/ Involve people before minds are made up
It's easier to help people make up their mind.
It’s harder to change minds.
It's easier to help people make up their mind.

It’s harder to change minds.
11/ Provide off-ramps for ego
Changing a decision that's already made often involves egos. Provide good reasons for the change that lets people save face.
Changing a decision that's already made often involves egos. Provide good reasons for the change that lets people save face.
12/ Some good books
On becoming a better negotiator & persuader.
• Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone
• Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
• Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher
On becoming a better negotiator & persuader.
• Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone
• Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs
• Getting to Yes by Roger Fisher
13/ Understand their real interest
Positions = what people say they want.
Interests = true reasons for their wants.
Positions = what people say they want.
Interests = true reasons for their wants.
14/ Create win-win opportunities
With everyone's real interests in mind, we can seek opportunities that satisfy them all at once.
With everyone's real interests in mind, we can seek opportunities that satisfy them all at once.
15/ Generate options that work for everyone
Break down the problem into smaller "solution-options".
Figure out which ones best solve everyone's interests.
Break down the problem into smaller "solution-options".
Figure out which ones best solve everyone's interests.
16/ Common product areas to invent options
Scope
Visibility
Duration
Reporting
Scalability
Performance
Risk Sensibility
Customization vs pre-made UI components








17/ Useful methods for generating options
Brainstorm in the morning (everyone's fresh)
Whiteboard and break down the problem
Ask each side what matters most to them



18/ Use objective criteria
Avoid arbitrary starting points.
The anchoring effect activates and blinds you from whether the final result is objectively fair.
Avoid arbitrary starting points.
The anchoring effect activates and blinds you from whether the final result is objectively fair.
19/ Start with external data
Specific data reduces opposition.
Use a value from an external source to guide the negotiating.
Specific data reduces opposition.
Use a value from an external source to guide the negotiating.
20/ Objective criteria is reusable
It's future-proof
Agree on it once, use it again.
Saves you time.
It's future-proof

Agree on it once, use it again.
Saves you time.
22/ Lose lesser battles
You don't have to win every argument
Give in on things that don't matter as much to you but matters a lot to the other person.
It builds good will.
You don't have to win every argument

Give in on things that don't matter as much to you but matters a lot to the other person.
It builds good will.
23/ Have thick skin
You won't always get your way.
Don't be a sore loser
Focus long term.
You won't always get your way.
Don't be a sore loser

Focus long term.
24/ Negotiate
Now you have:
Understanding of everyone's interests
Agreed-upon objective data
Aligned incentives
Making decisions will be easier now.
/end
Now you have:



Making decisions will be easier now.
/end

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