What do the filtered DMs of an attractive serial horny posting female look like?

In my column we will take a deep dive into @lyssie_lys filtered DMs to see how the average guy shoots his shot
Some of you maybe asking how did @ClaysandBirds get permission to access @lyssie_lys high level password protected twitter account? I have no idea, but we appreciate her trust.
The first concern @lyssie_lys had was me seeing her actual DMs with her female friends or perhaps my wife being upset I saw one of her nudes. Shoutout to my wife for sending a comforting text. Yes ladies, I am able to review your nudes in a platonic way. Don’t all dm at once
Allow this to be the warning part where we begin. I will not censor dick pics, and I will judge them. You will see penises in this thread.

Tilt, she isn’t the front seat of a car. No woman wants to feel like a possession to a random person on Twitter they have never spoken to
Sherlock we are disappointed in the lack of creativity in your dm. Also this is a tits out gang
We had a lot of feet guys in the DMs. I haven’t seen @lyssie_lys feet so I don’t know if her feet are catnip to the foot fetish crowd, but I respect the use of a cartoon gif while embarrassing yourself
Sending random emojis is always a weird move to me. It basically screams I dm girls 100 times a day and have nothing original to say. That being said,
Happy Friday ❤️😈❤️
Michael is very upset you didn’t dm him back. Take note gentleman, you are better off developing a normal relationship on the timeline before sliding in the DMs and getting butt hurt someone that gets a fuck load of DMs didn’t respond to you
I would have laughed more if you had said “let me suck on dem little piggies.” Much like you disappointed Cleveland, you have disappointed me Lebron
Devin, it was nice to see waited less than an hour for the follow up dm on July 4th
It’s a bold move listing your entire life in the bio and sliding in a girls DMs. I respect the move
I’m no penis expert Boa, but I don’t think this is what we would call a “big one”
Now that we got our first dick pic out of the way, how about something wholesome. @lyssie_lys said to enter the DMs with a puppy photo and our boy Luke did that. 10/10 Lys should dm him
Get your own podcast!
Definitely came across that way Brandon
Little did she know, but by deleting snap, she broke men’s hearts everywhere
I too want my future child to have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome
I respect the shit out of this dude sending a resume. I don’t know if he is saying he is a huge dick or has a huge dick. TBD
Here was he previous DMs before the resume. He over played his hand
I can’t believe this approach failed. I love to go to grocery stores and ask random women their skin care routine. Totally not a buffalo bill silence of the lambs vibe at all
Yeah Alenn I’d say it came out more than a little weird
Barry, it seems she doesn’t want to role play spongebob with you. I suggest searching on reddit
Elijah, I really want to know if this approach has ever worked? I don’t think that tic tac is ever going to make any girl choke
Upfront about being horny and asked for consent. We love to see it. It better be an A+ dick pic if you are coming out that strong
How nice of you Jonathan. Really glad to see you set the bar so low with “I won’t cheat on you” and then you transitioned it into asking her out. This plan will definitely work
I love people that refuse to use the English language. You owe me for enjoying your content. Pay attention to me damnit!!!!!!!!!
This is guy talk for “make a pit stop on my dick”
When you don’t understand a joke tweet and decide to ask for an address. Yes I’m totally going to give you my address
How about we see a weird penis? Is it syphilis? We may never know. I know this is the content you all want
We officially lost our first follower since starting this thread. Science doesn’t stop for the weak
Make that two
I respect the move here
Hey J, I am assuming you she doesn’t want to talk after the first dm. The rest were not needed
We are moving on from dick pics for the sake of my followers I care about. We got the good ones out of the way. WoP only if you do it live in the thread
The barstool difference:
I feel like a lot of girls get this dm. Money making opportunities
Hank is ready to suck whatever you put in front of him. He is dedicated to the game
A lot of money making opportunities for @lyssie_lys
He is horny. He is ready. He will swap nudes right now!
If anyone offered a press briefing as a first date, I’d kms
Big if true
This brings us to the end of our thread. I’d like to offer my closing thoughts. First thank you to @lyssie_lys for trusting me with her password. You’re welcome to the people I didn’t expose.
As most of you know I was locked down before dm sliding was a thing. That being said, I have enough brain cells to know a few things. 1. Your best bet is to make friends on the timeline and then dm slide. Girls won’t see your filtered messages most of the time
2. If you are going to send a dick pic, it better be the best damn dick pic ever seen. Trim the hair. Take a shower. Use some proper lighting. Use the same effort she uses in her thirst trap
3. When you dm vs building something on the timeline, you limit yourself to one chance to make an impression. Odds are you are going to fail miserably. The risk isn’t worth the reward
4. It is clear @lyssie_lys could be clearing 6 figures on onlyfans if she wanted to based on the number of guys in her DMs asking to venmo/cash app her.
This thread cost me two followers. It was worth it
Please note in my bio I repent for my twitter sins every 9/11. See you all on my Super Bowl of twitter
You can follow @ClaysandBirds.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: