Lee Sledzianowski, a carpenter & Vietnam vet, became part of our family in 1989, fresh out of jail. My younger sister Dorothy's 3rd grade class had sent Xmas cards to the county jail - Lee had been the inmate who got hers. He'd been on suicide watch 1/10 https://twitter.com/100YearsBook/status/1299109014605832192

...and said the card saved his life. When he got out some months later, he wanted to say thank you to the parents of the "Dorothy" who'd sent the card, & contacted them via the school. My dad invited him up. He said his thank you quickly, left just as quickly. 2/10

But near our house his car broke down. My dad invited him in, drove him home. Turns out they'd been in the same Kingston High School class. Estranged from his wife & 2 young kids, he must have been looking for family. He started coming to ours, soon several times a week. 3/10

First few years, he never sat at the table at family dinner - he was embarrassed what Agent Orange had done to his teeth. (The effects on his joints eventually crippled him.) He was an incredibly hard worker, lived very simply, & used his other $ for struggling folks & kids. 4/10

I was in high school by then, TBH not always thrilled to have this vet in the house when I came home. But my little brothers loved hanging out with Lee together with my dad, watching Apocalypse Now & Cheech&Chong on repeat. 5/10

Lee had served 2 tours in Vietnam, mostly driving trucks, mostly while high. In time he told us some of the things he'd seen. Also, the common-law wife and the baby in Vietnam who were now dead. When he came home, he married his high school girlfriend but 6/10

...he'd was permanently changed by war and it must have been a rocky marriage. When Lee went to jail, she divorced him and got restraining orders, so he never saw his kids again. He went through deep depressions over that, plus hellish PTSD dreams. 7/10

For several years Lee lived at the Woodcrest @TheBruderhof in Rifton NY. He was a much-loved resident, a friend to many, but never a member. He was not a Christian. "Can I ever forgive myself for what I have done? No, never." 8/10

In 2006 he suddenly died of a massive stroke - maybe Agent Orange again. He was buried at the Bruderhof burial ground. Hundreds of community & local people showed up - all the people this haunted & broken man had loved & helped. His daughter came too. 9/10

Rest in peace, Lee. You don't need to call yourself a Christian to belong to Jesus. May your works follow you after. Your boots are still by my desk.

For the rest of us: Never Again War. 10/10