Today is my ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of starting estrogen HRT! My life has changed dramatically for the better in the last year as I've transitioned, and I made a video to talk about my experience:

I’ve now done more of my physical transition during the pandemic than before it, so I’ve really missed a lot of the social feedback that shapes our performance of gender. That’s been weird, but I can’t imagine how I would have coped before hormones.

Big change #1: I no longer have the undercurrent of self-loathing and shame that held me back for as long as I could remember. Transitioning has allowed me to love and also actually like myself.

Big change #2: I'm motivated to take care of myself, whether that includes exercising, planning for my future, or basic things like dental care that I had put off for years and years. I had four cavities filled this week - something I would have avoided before.

Big change #3: I have hobbies and interests again! Before transitioning my life was really just happy hours and video games and work and now I'm figure skating and hiking and doing yoga and photography and reading and writing again!

Big change #4: I’m not an alcoholic anymore! Before transitioning, I looked for every opportunity to quiet the world a bit with alcohol. It made being me more bearable. I still drink socially every now and then but it isn’t nearly as appealing as it once was.

Big change #5: my social life has really blossomed, even in isolation. I'm so grateful for all the amazing people I've met on here and offline who inspire me to be more creative, more thoughtful, and more caring.

Big change #6: the only mixed thing about transitioning is that I feel less heard when I speak, but more seen as I move through the world. Sometimes I feel like I've lost the presumption of competence, and that was hard to adjust to!

Big change #7: I focused the least on this because it gets the most attention and trans people are more than just our bodies, but my body has changed a ton. There is no padding in this photo.

I made this video in hopes that it would help other people starting a similar journey, but also because I want to remember just how far I’ve come. I’m forgetting ever being that gloomy person from before - and that’s for the best.