Give me a YQY I won't get mad about;

YanQY might be the only one for me............................. u_u;

Ironically, Yan!QY is definitely the worst bad end scenario for Shen Jiu FFFFFFFFFFFFF

It will always hurt more to be betrayed by someone you care about because you're soft and vulnerable around them already....daring to hope and love. u___u

Although YanQY is a very bad end for SJ, I still feel less angry about this kind of YQY compared to canon version. Maybe because at least for YanQY, his obsessive side is still so extremely fixated on SJ (technically what might be considered loyalty) but manifested VERY Selfishly

I think what bothers me about YQY in canon...
(not any implication as to my values irl, because rl values stands by and can understand YQY's desire to help others/need to maintain certain appearances in a leadership position/his softer attempts to convince/placate)
is that his -

-selfishness is hidden behind "noble actions" and therefore unless you can take the perspective of his impact on Shen Jiu from Shen Jiu's perspective... his actions ARE reasonable. But they are the worst possible actions for someone like SJ. My biggest issue is that YQY couldn't-

-seem to see what SJ did for him... and they seemed to always be speaking two different languages even when they conversed. They were on totally different wavelengths. And that lack of trust in SJ... I just can't.
Also for the record, nothing inherently wrong with selfish, or if

you prefer, "self-interest," but the way people in canon viewed the two different characters is worlds apart even if they're both selfish in their own ways. Naturally, someone with bad temperment as a result of many consequences falling on his shoulders will be judged more -

-harshly than someone who appears to have held it together even given their similarish backgrounds. Why YQY had the luxury to be like this vs SJ (murphy's law defines his life) is because things arguably worked out more easily for YQY.