Read on Twitter
I know the atmosphere lately isn’t the greatest and I’m sorry I’m bringing this up during this hard time the fandom is facing, but I have something to say about this whole situation that happened with me a few days ago.
why we shouldn’t judge others feelings, a thread
why we shouldn’t judge others feelings, a thread
I had a groupchat with 6 friends and there we talked about basically anything, from sm groups (since we had representatives of all the sm fandoms there) to life struggles. We even shared secrets and deep feelings, I considered these girls a lot, but a lot changed 2 days ago; I
since twitter is constantly boycotting me in DMs here, I was in the group with my 2 accounts, and that’s why I was much more talkative on the group chat with my other account (I have less problems there), but on Sunday I left the group on my other account, staying with this one;
lydia, the girl I already had a 3 hour phone call because I was worried with Leeteuk, didn’t notice I was still on the groupchat with this account (or maybe didn’t care) and sent the following messages:
and I will tell you: the main problem here is not that she talked about me, but that she did not respect my feelings. She literally took every single thing I’ve EVER done to leeteuk and said: invalid.
the hours I spent rewatching his tv shows, every time I worked my ass off to promote something he was involved, every time I laughed and cried because of him, the nights I stayed up because he was going to be on something or would do a special live. Everything was in the trash;
and that was how I felt after reading this, I felt like I was in the trash. I even questioned myself, I doubted my own feelings because of she said. I cried cause “I don’t deserve leeteuk” “leeteuk deserve better fans” echoed in my head, and that hurt me more than what she said;
I took a moment out of twitter and went memory lane with everything I lived with Super Junior and how I felt the first time I saw Leeteuk and then I remembered that this man means to me more than words can express, and how important anything related to him is;
the feeling that was here since day one as an ELF not diminished a bit, it only increased and keep increasing every day, leeteuk is on a place no one can touch him, but that doesn’t mean I can’t show devotion to the other members or even express my feelings towards any of them;
yesung is my bias wrecker and I feel a connection with him in levels that I can’t explain, all of my friends that get to know Yesung say we are much alike and I honestly agree, and that’s something that makes me have deep feelings for him, I respect and admire yesung a lot;
I will say that hyukjae made into my top3 after so many attempts and was in one more time he came to stay, and even tho he is responsible for most of my hard stan moments, I admire lee hyukjae as a dancer and as a creative director a lot, his professionalism is out of this world;
a visual representation of how my brain, heart 𝚊̶𝚗̶𝚍̶ ̶𝚋̶𝚘̶𝚍̶𝚢̶ reacts to my top 3 bias on super junior
* added this here just to make this thread a little bit less serious than it was. https://twitter.com/teukchelin/status/1291508033491800064
* added this here just to make this thread a little bit less serious than it was. https://twitter.com/teukchelin/status/1291508033491800064
I love super junior as a group and I love and respect its members a lot, even tho I don’t say that every single minute, but it’s not because I don’t say it that I don’t feel it, that’s one thing ppl need to understand, especially here on twitter;
at one of the hardest moments in my life, leeteuk’s words were what made my heart find comfort, yesung’s voice was what made me breathe calmly again and hyukjae’s dance moves were what made me distract my mind from all the bad thoughts;
they helped me on their own ways without even knowing and I will never express enough how grateful I am because of that, or even how important having them at that moment was;
so yes, leeteuk was, is and will be my #1, it doesn’t matter what happens, it doesn’t matter if I don’t talk about him 24/7, leeteuk is on a place no one can touch him. literally my 5 star Michelin, he is my devilish angel and I will cherish him as long as I live;
yes, yesung is my bias wrecker and I will always show my devotion for him and his voice, no one can make me as calm as he does, that’s why I call him “my angel”, and if I could, I would take him to the nba season with me every year;
hyukjae will be my devil in disguise and I won’t be able to control myself most of the times, because that’s how he is and how I feel when I see him, and the way he works actually only makes him look even hotter so yes, forgive me lord for what I have sinned;
I wrote this to show you all that we don’t know what happens inside others mind and heart, we don’t know how others feel and how they demonstrate it online doesn’t reflect exactly how they are feeling, so don’t judge, don’t think you know better, cause you don’t!
I left the groupchat after I read what she sent and deleted everything related to them, one friend of mine (she is on the groupchat too) talked to me about it and wanted me to do a exposed, but I won’t, I’m not here to put up a show, I wanted to share cause sharing is caring;
but I mean it, I wanted to share this to show how wrong it is to play with other’s ppl feelings and how words can hurt - just by reading this screenshoots again my heart aches a little;
renata, the friend I mentioned that is also on the groupchat, gave me her account details so I could log in to get the screenshots and to read what happened after I left, so because of that I will say thank you nata for saving the day one more time;
and about lydia, well, all I can say is that lydia didn’t care and I was dumb enough to be there for her and to think she was there for me. She didn’t apologized or anything, she actually blocked me and a few friends of mine, and now she is on hiatus 
If you read this until here, thank you very much for caring and I want you to know my DMs are always open if you need anything, don’t ever doubt yourself or your feelings and trust your heart, it knows better!
I love you all
I love you all
