A woman ran at me with a knife once. I was responding to a domestic and she flew out the front door, huge knife in hand, & came right at me. I drew my weapon, yelled “police”, told her to drop the knife. She didn’t. At some point, I’d drawn my weapon. (Thread)

I don’t know why I didn’t shoot. I could have shot her. If I would have, I would been cleared. In fact, I may have been given a citation for bravery or some nonsense for what would have been a reflexive reaction to my training. But, I didn’t shoot at the first opportunity.

The woman veered off & ran around me, straight to her car. She jumped in behind the wheel, still holding the knife. The next thing I knew I was at the side window. I didn’t shoot. I extended my baton, broke the window, and told her to drop the knife and get out. I didn’t shoot.

She screamed and started the car. I didn’t shoot. The car moved. I didn’t shoot. A short pursuit ensued and she was taken into custody. When I asked her why she ran at me with the knife, she had no idea what I was talking about.

In her extreme distress, she had run out of the house, tears flooding her eyes, intending to harm herself and never saw me on the walkway in front of the house. I could have shot her. That was in the middle of the night in 1998 or 1999 and I still think about that incident.

So, why? Why didn’t I shoot her? She was certainly a threat to my life. She was potentially close enough to stab or slash me before I could stop her. I think this is why - In my heart, I didn’t WANT to shoot anyone. I didn’t go into law enforcement looking to shoot anyone.

In addition to the “us vs them” mentality that is drilled into those who enter the profession, I think something else is happening today. I don’t think it’s the training (my current profession). I think it’s the hiring and the culture.

Until major police reform that includes national training and pay standards is addressed, we are going to continue to see a real problem in this nation. Law enforcement needs to be a true profession. Simply batting off criticism with “Back the Badge” memes isn’t the answer.

Call it want you want: “Reform”, “Defund”, Restructure”... it doesn’t matter. A major ideological shift has to occur or the “us vs them” mantra in policing will become a reality and the “us” isn’t going to be a pretty picture.

Since this Tweet took off, I’ll link this piece here. I wrote it for a site called Do Some Damage after George Floyd was killed in Minneapolis. I think there are some important points regarding police reform and the “us vs them” mentality.

http://www.dosomedamage.com/2020/06/what-could-have-been-and-what-still-can.html?m=1