I think a lot about the damage of treating kids like problems.

Like in families, in communities.

If an adult says, "This kid is a problem," other adults tend to believe them and treat the child like a problem. Instead of like a full and valid human being.

I just watched this grandmother try to defend the way her daughter-in-law treated her eldest child more or less from birth by saying "oh she was a difficult child."

Meanwhile it's obvious to outsiders that the mom resents the child and you can see how that affects the child.

And contrast that to the way the mom treats the middle and youngest child and... yeah there's a lot there. A lot of dynamics setting the eldest child up for failure.

Oh and then eventually the mom murders the eldest child as an adult.

I guess what I'm getting at is there are narratives adults tell about kids that follow them their whole lives and can destroy their lives in a thousand little ways.

For additional context that some people are going to be like "well this makes sense".

The eldest child was born with a tumor on her face. Her birth distracted her dad from a potentially great pro American Football career.

Instead he became a lawyer. The mom was disappointed about that. My guess is the combination of imperfect baby and derailed husband job prospects is what started the resentment.

Then the dad died in an accident and the eldest child was diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

Which there you go, bipolar disorder diagnosis is proof that the mom was right to treat her eldest child like a problem.

In a lot of people's eyes.

I'm not going to get into things of attachment disorder and whatever but how parents perceive their kids can have a huge impact on how their kids turn out.