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tooru probably understands this the most. that vulnerability is hard to surrender but even harder to see be accepted by someone else. that being held is— too much, sometimes. tooru understands this. so the first time tooru sees issei cry, https://twitter.com/iwaoiks/status/1299080236621987840
he doesn't hold him. instead he sits with his back pressed against issei's, and lets issei quietly wipe his own tears away. in a way it's mercy; tooru tells issei i'm here, but tooru also tells issei i'm only here if you want me to be. issei wants him to be.
issei desperately— issei wants him to be. so tooru stays. so tooru's warm. so tooru lets issei be vulnerable in a way that issei can manage, in a way that lets issei know he's here without making issei face him. face himself. it's mercy.
when hajime sees issei cry for the first time, he doesn't hold him either. instead he runs a hand through issei's hair. it makes issei feel small, like a child; it makes issei feel like maybe he doesn't need to be all 180-something centimeters of him— maybe he can just be
issei under hajime's touch. under hajime's care. it's— soothing in a way issei's never known crying to be. it makes issei feel safe. that maybe— maybe being vulnerable doesn't have to feel so heavy, under hajime's touch. under hajime's care.
takahiro's the first one to hold issei. takahiro is a lot of firsts to issei— first home. first warmth. it's a little too much— issei wants to pull away. issei wants to— issei doesn't want to break more than he already has. but takahiro is
stronger than issei's known. he holds issei like there's nothing else in the world to hold— like it's just them. it's just them. takahiro tells issei it's just them; you don't have to hide away. not from me. never from me.
so issei surrenders. he cries into takahiro's chest. takahiro holds him closer.
