Thread by @robertgriker, Little story for y'allAbout how I got to where I am now/ [...]

Little story for y'all

About how I got to where I am now

/ thread /

Growing up, all the way through college, I had friends

All of them were either:

- Neighbors
- Schoolmates
- Sports teammates
- Fraternity brothers (college)

But just because I had friends doesn't mean I was good at *making* friends

After college, when I was 24, I took a job that landed me in Santa Fe, NM - a state I had never even been to before

Literally packed as much as I could into my Corolla and moved out there before ever seeing it

I was stoked

I couldn't wait to meet new people, build an awesome social circle, and design my life the way I wanted

It was one of the most exciting moments of my life

But then I realized that meeting new people in a new place wasn't something I knew how to do

I would go to the bar, alone, hoping to meet people

But I would leave 2 hours later not having spoken to a single person

Instead, I sat at the bar, had a beer to myself, overthought how I would start a conversation with someone, and then didn't do it.

I went home deflated

This happened a handful of times until I broke

I was on the verge of depression and felt like the biggest loser

I wondered if I would ever meet anyone and dreaded thinking about what my lonely life was going to look like

Fortunately, I had been reading about game and social skills for a couple years, so I had some "knowledge" under my belt, although I hadn't put much of it to use

And then, I read the book Yes Man by Danny Wallace

It gave me a paradigm shift and changed my life

I realized I needed to stop caring about making friends (which is why I was in my own head) and just be open to having as many random experiences as possible

I decided I would start conversations without caring if they went anywhere

I would sign up for any event I could find

And I did

I spoke to hundreds of new people every week and went to places I never would have gone before

I volunteered for the Santa Fe Film Festival, and I barely watch movies

I reached out to someone way older that I met through work and met up with him

I even met some people through Facebook (eww)

I started saying *Yes* to everything and met so many people

It didn't take long for things to change

I made friends fast

My social circle grew fast

My friends turned into best friends

And we literally had the time of our lives

And through this process, I learned a TON about what it takes to meet new people and turn them into good friends

So a few years later, I started my site The Social Winner to help people learn these skills

Now, I mostly help people one-on-one, since coaching is the best way for me to make the biggest change in someone's life

There's just nothing that can replace this kind of direct help and accountability

I hope you enjoyed this little story!

If you liked it, let me know and I'll start opening up more often

And if you *really* liked it, RT the first tweet to say thank you

This was fun to write and I appreciate you!

Have an awesome rest of your day

P.S. If you want to:

- Overcome social anxiety
- Eliminate overthinking
- Meet new people
- Talk to strangers
- Build stronger relationships

Schedule a strategy call to discuss your struggles and goals to see if you're a good fit for coaching https://calendly.com/rgriker/social-mastery-strategy-call

Social Mastery Strategy Call - Rob Riker

During the call, we'll talk about your goals and aspirations. We’ll also decide if we’re a good fit to work together.

https://calendly.com/rgriker/social-mastery-strategy-call

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