Thread by @catevelvet, TW // Depression, scars, suicide Thread of what NOT TO SAY OR [...]

TW // Depression, scars, suicide

Thread of what NOT TO SAY OR DO to people with depression, and how you can help.

note: This doesn't represent everyone, I'm writing this based on my experience and people I know that also feel like this. Some people may not relate to everything. Each person has it's own feelings and may react differently.

what NOT to say:
"you're overreacting"
"depression doesn't exist"
"you're only doing this for attention"
"you're just being selfish"
"i don't think you are depressed"

DON'T ask for a justification;
DON'T blame it on them;
DON'T shame them for how they feel;
DON'T tell them you know how they feel, because you don't;
DON'T put pressure on them to 'snap out of it';
DON'T ignore them.

DON'T ask to touch their scars;
DON'T touch their scars;
DON'T try to 'fix' them;
DON'T give advice about changing lifestyle if they don't ask you to;
DON'T take things personally;
DON'T take stance on medication.

do NOT express disbelief: "you don't look depressed", "you don't look sad", "i don't see any symptoms on you".

do NOT oversimplify: "just cheer up", "you should smile more", "try harder", "it's easy to get over it", "it's easy to ask for help".

do NOT be apathetic: "it could be worse", "if you're still here, it's because it's not that bad", "I've seen people worse than you", "are you sure about it? i don't think you have it".

if you're in a relationship with them: do NOT complain about their symptoms;
do NOT complain about their lack of sexual desire/interest;
do NOT tell them they'll be okay if they stay with you;
do NOT tell them they wouldn't have depression if they 'truly loved you'.

what you can/should do:
be patient;
listen to them;
let them know you'll be there for them when they need you;
show support;
offer help to look for medical/psychological help;
offer help with daily tasks;
support them in continuing therapy;
learn about depression on your own;

Depression is not something that you can avoid to have, there's different factors that may cause and different symptoms as well. Be aware of symptoms, not everyone show them explicitly and it doesn't happen the same to all of us.

Depression, beyond other symptoms they may carry feelings of guilty and shame. This feelings can lead people to self-harm or suicidal thoughts. If you're having suicidal thoughts, contact any of these lines. If you or someone you know are in immediate danger, contact the 911.

International Suicidal Hotlines:
http://www.suicide.org/international-suicide-hotlines.html

You can also find more sources here:
https://faq.whatsapp.com/general/security-and-privacy/global-suicide-hotline-resources

If you have any symptoms of depression, don't diagnose yourself with a quiz online and call it a day. Search about depression and try to look for professional help. Depression is a medical condition that requires treatment, therapy, medication or even both.

Most of the things in this thread can be related to any other illness, be aware of your actions. If you said or did something wrong in the past, apologize.

Sources that helped me to build this thread and can help you to understand things better:

https://www.healthline.com/health/depression

https://www.healthline.com/health/how-to-help-a-depressed-friend#warning-signs

https://www.verywellmind.com/worst-things-to-say-to-someone-who-is-depressed-1066982

Thanks for reading

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