Dammit, my one cool doctor is leaving the practice and now I gotta break in Yet Another Medical Professional.

I am an experience, particularly when wearing a little paper gown.

"I am bit by over fifty ticks a year. I will test positive for everything. I will tell you if I have a rash, and you will nod and immediately give me heavy-duty antibiotics. No, I'm not going to lose weight. No, BMI is astrology for skinny people. CHECK OUT ALL MY VACCINES!"

"Occasionally I will turn up with something you've never heard of. It will be exciting for all of us!

Yes, I try to get the Latin name for every insect bite. Yes, I know the difference."

"Sure, you want a student to take my medical history? Send them in. Yes, they can observe. Hell, they can poke around down there if they want, I'm over forty, I really truly do not care any more."

"You might want to read up on obscure parasites. No reason."

"I will absolutely want to see the gross thing."

"Nothing upsets me. I will not yell at you. Your job is to make sure that the medications that keep me in this state continue to flow."

"Occasionally, I will demand to know your favorite fast-acting poison or how you would dispose of a body in a low-tech fashion. This is normal. Please see the margin notes from your predecessor."