i dont know what to do. all i want is to not be depressed but i cant help myself. i feel like the past two nights were just teasing me now. why does this kind of shit happen to me? why does shit that happened 8 years ago haunt me to the point of depression and constant anxiety?

i dont know anymore. i just want to feel fine. not good, just fine. i can barely even write this fucking tweet right now im crying. do i really want help? have i just convinced myself i do? how can i make it stop? i just want to make it stop. i dont even have time for help,

i just want to vent. i just want to know that somebody sees what im going through. i dont care if anyone actually does, i just want to feel like it. nobody can understand what the fuck ive dealt with all my life, and i ont want them to. i dont want anyone else to feel this

i dont even know what the hell i want anymore. all i know is that i have a problem. im going to get off for now, i dont want to see any drama or tragedy or shit, i need some time alone. dont worry about me, ill be fine, i just need to tough it out.

This is the worst I’ve felt in years. I’m sorry for anyone that sees this and has to put up with my shit, but I don’t give a fuck anymore. I just want to feel something, anything. I just want him back.

I can’t even begin to think of what my life would be like if he was still here. I don’t know if I want to. I don’t want to know what could have been because it could be infinitely better than what I have now, and I hate that.

I’m gonna keep venting in this thread