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This is a thread for my bestfriend that I fell in love with;
I, I love you in secret.
I, I love you in secret.
Hey, I know there& #39;s a small chance that you& #39;ll be seeing this thread. But I just want you to know this even if you doesn& #39;t have an idea that it& #39;s for you, and it& #39;s from me.
I want to start with... I loved you, and I still do.
I already confessed less than a year ago and it made our relationship blurry. So I made a decision that if you ask me if I love you, I& #39;d lie. And I did. A million little times.
I did it because I& #39;m so scared to go through that same phase again, with you again. I& #39;ve spent the last eight months, thinking love all ever does is break, and burn, and end.
I& #39;ve spent the last 9 months thinking what were you thinking about me. Why were you making me feel like I was always left behind? Why were you being so close with your other girl friends more than we are?
On school, it& #39;s so painful to see how you hug them whenever they needed it or not. You never did it to me, intentionally. I always have to insist or make you hug me. It& #39;s so cheesy but fuck it.
When we were preparing for our musical play. I& #39;ve been standing or sitting in the corner looking around and seeing the faces of our happy friends.
I& #39;ve been in that corner with the hand above my invisible heart. Looking at you, looking at her.
That should be me.
That should be me... But I wasn& #39;t.
Now we& #39;re slowly getting back on what we were. We& #39;re fine now... But you don& #39;t know how the pain of the unsaid past left a fresh unhealed wound inside my heart.
I& #39;ve been loving you in secret for 10 months now. I& #39;ve been lying to you for 10 months now.
I& #39;ve been hiding this feelings to you and to our friends. 10 months now.
You know I can& #39;t risk another goodbye, so I& #39;ve been lying to everyone but myself.
You know I can& #39;t risk another goodbye, so I& #39;ve been lying to everyone but myself.
You& #39;re the only one that I would talk to regarding my personal problems. How mental breakdowns are coming one by one to haunt me every night.
And I am the only one you talk to about your family issues, your emotional breakdowns. You told me how great I am at giving advices so you always come to me if you need a water to kill the fire.
I know this thread is a mess rn. I can& #39;t think straight.
I was there when no one else did. I was there when small amount of people only believes in you. I risked my reputation just to support you and you reached that goal of yours, and mine. I am so happy how far you have become. I am so happy to witness all of it.
I believed in you and I will always believe in you. If you have any problems, you know that I& #39;m here. I can stay awake until 5 AM just to join you in your rain parade.
