fear of commitment; a thread on why you just can’t stay committed.

let’s chop it up! as with all my threads, it’s always from a place of love & growth.

so, I wanted to address the common theme I see across socials regarding ‘commitment’ especially in regards to romantic relationships. People just can’t seem to want to or know how to commit. And, as with all things, I wanted to understand what amplifies this fear and most

Importantly why people may not recognise that their fear of commitment doesn’t just feed into their romantic relationships; it actually becomes noticeable in their daily experience that they fail to commit to not just relationships but friendships, goals, jobs and so on.

this fear derives from a place of, at the core, feeling inadequate, unworthy, undeserving and unfocused. People who fear intimate relationships may have had a struggle with their identity growing up, usually a difficult upbringing where their primary care needs were not met,

And as a result they had to learn to survive independently. They can allow people ‘into’ their lives to a certain degree because they feel like that’s how they can maintain control but in reality, there isn’t an ability to control their emotions overall and often they can

Find themselves battling with the heart (that yearns for feeling, love and affection) and the mind (logic) that tells them two possible things 1) you must struggle in love to receive it - because this is what they have learnt through a difficult childhood experience and/or 2)

love isn’t easily accessible to them because again; they may not have felt ‘loved’ as a child and thus manifest relations with others whereby they have to ‘prove’ they are worthy of love. Now although, none of this is true - love doesn’t have to be hard nor does anyone

have to prove to anyone that they are deserving of love - an individuals subconscious that has been impressed with this thought consistently will believe this is absolute truth and one must work out how to unlearn and undo this impression. people who resonate with this thread

will find that they often find it hard to focus and stick to tasks, their goals are always being redifined because they find it hard to commit to executing the necessary steps to achieve their goals, they may find it extremely difficult to multitasks or if capable of